The DAR would like to say something...

No more little white gloves.

If you apologize and no one hears, is it like you never apologized at all? I really don't feel like I'm in the wrong this time, so fuck off my jock.

I just found out the Manchester Orchestra is coming to Calgary in August. I just wish I knew who was opening for The Hold Steady in September. It's not that I dislike them, per se, it's just I'd be more inclined to go if I found out someone fabulous was opening for them.

I love watching pissing contests between two guys*. It's hilarious when they try to one-up each other on things.

One thing I also love? Movie monologues that make my chest clench up just a little bit.

*So we're clear, I'm not talking about actual urine. Gross. No thank you.

I'm so tired and sore right now. This takes me back to January where all I wanted was sweet, sweet death. All I want right now is antihistamine and decongestant. I think I'm going to be calling in sick to Chapters tonight, just based on the amount of death I feel like right now.

Wow. Thanks to Go Fug Yourself, I just learned that Mickey Rourke didn't always look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man after 9 rounds with Snap, Crackle, and Pop. He was kind of hot, in a sleazy, eighties, doing-coke-off-a-mirror-in-my-office-before-that-big-meeting-with-potential-investors kind of way. He should look like that now. Maybe then I wouldn't mind when people try to tell me to watch his movies.

Speaking of movies, I really want to see The Hangover now. Sean told me exactly how hilarious it is right now. I kind of respect his opinion sometimes. But he did cry over Marley and Me, so...

Sleep, please?

I almost forgot.

Things I'm Enjoying:

Go Fug Yourself

White Whine

Remember that scene in 'Can't Hardly Wait' where William Lichter is hammered and says "I can't feel my legs. I HAVE NO LEGS!" It's kind of like that right now.

Tonight I did a stream-of-consciousness about things that make me happy. I was kind of surprised at some of them. For example, I like being 23 and still printing. If I were to handwrite, it would look horrendous, I promise.

The big news of the day is my new diet plan. Coffee [black], cigarettes, and Diet Coke. When I'm all emaciated and look like a heroin addict, that'll be why.

Lelaina: I was really gonna be something by the age of 23.
Troy: Honey, the only thing you have to be by the age of 23 is yourself.
Lelaina: I don’t know who that is anymore.
Troy: I do. And we all love her. I love her. She breaks my heart again and again but I love her.

Genius needs to burn a little while longer, guys.

I just got invited to Wingo. Wings+Bingo=Awesome Tuesday Night? Maybe, maybe. Except that I only eat wings in certain company because they're so messy and the last time I played Bingo, I was too drunk for real life.

Oh well, it's a Tuesday. Hey Lush, have fun.

Mitchell likes the hair, Meghan likes the hair, I like the hair. Everyone seems to like the hair, so I think I'll make it my signature. Like Lucille Ball's lips.

Meghan and I are going to see Twilight again. Yes, we're ridiculous, but seriously. I don't think we've ever had so much fun watching a movie! Maybe this time we'll bring booze in and play the drinking game. Seriously, that vomit face? Never not good. Also, I definitely just told her: I'll get the tickets, you get the failbucks?

The back of my hand is itchy. When your palm is itchy, it means you're going to get money. I think the back of my hand is itchy because I want to spend money. I'm done my Christmas shopping so that just means shopping for myself. Oh! I got a free subscription to Nylon, which is fun. I didn't think I would because normally those offers don't extend to Canada, but this one did and it was awesome to come home last night and find the new issue in my mailbox, just waiting for me.

If I don't go to Wingo tonight, it's laundry and cleaning, something I've totally neglected in the past few weeks. Oh well, c'est la vie. Maybe just one round.

Apparently I'm giving Dolly Parton hair a try these days. It's getting long and while it's fun, it's a pain to style. So have some pictures from when I was "too pretty for Chapters."

Me at the start of the night.

Me at the end of the night.

I ended up going to see Twilight again. I don't regret it, Jasper is a total hottie, Emmett is a total dork, and Edward is a total tool. It goes without saying that I would have sex with each and every single one of those characters. 

So far tonight, I've had two drunk dials, a drunk text, and concert call. I had another two drunk dials last night. I'm pretty sure that makes tonight made of win. That's not even counting the amount of Starbucks consumed and the books I bought.

Wearing Pants Makes You Popular

The title of today's blog comes from a sign I saw today in H&M. I have my doubts about the truthfulness of it. If people were meant to wear pants, there wouldn't be the show Pants Off Dance Off, now would there?

Bygones. 

I'm currently updating from Mitchell's bed in Vancouver. It's not as sexy as it sounds. No, actually it is. I arrived yesterday evening amidst unusual circumstances and was whisked away to sushi with Mitchell. After, we watched Everything Gone Green and had drinks.

It's a wonderful movie and I highly recommend it. There were things I picked up on yesterday that I didn't pick up on the first time I watched it. One thing I cannot stress enough is that you should not watch it if you're only watching it because you think it's a stoner comedy. The cover does the film a horrendous disservice by making one think it's some comedy to watch a) about getting blazed or b) while one is blazed. For God's sake, it's by Douglas Coupland!

This is the cover of the "Unrated Edition", the one that makes it look like a stoner comedy.

This is the "Rated Edition", that much more accurately depicts the film's content.

Ugh. Forget this, I'm going to just tell you that today I bought:

A jacket

3 CDs

4 DVDs

1 Comic

And now I'm going to go. While I have the chance, I'll say sorry in advance for all the drunk dials.

The Faculy + Pizza + Cigarettes + The Thursday Night Girls = Doing it right.

Thursday night is the new Friday night, bitches. 

L.A. Times takes on a whole new meaning in a week. I have to start packing. Moving out is sooner than later and I'm nowhere near prepared. There's no way of knowing. Why don't they just admit they're scared? 'Cause it's already showing. 

Are you sure you want a piece of me?

My body says sleep but my brain says be prolific. The eternal struggle. I feel as though it's been a very long week and it only just started. 

I've heard some new music today and I heard a song today that reminded me how much I want it. I need to find a music program that isn't Kazaa or Limewire because I don't want my computer pooched for the rest of eternity. I watched Saved! tonight and I forgot how much I love that movie. It reminds me of such a specific time in my life and how it showed one person that indie was not always shit. I like to think that I invented you. ANYWAY, the point of that was they use this Arthur Joseph song in it and the song always tugs at my heartstrings. 

Wow. Piece of Me by Britney Spears just came on my iTunes and it took me back to February where it was a constant rotation of Blackout and Viva La Cobra. There's nothing quite like drinking champagne out of paper coffee cups in the back of a cab. It's certainly the way to do things right.

The cards show a page six blind item for September. I can feel the excitement building in the air.

This weekend I met the most obnoxious BC stoner and then watched The Plain White Ts. I felt bad, the crowd left after they played Hey There, Delilah. They have more than one song. True story. I definitely grinned until my face hurt at You and Me. Because sometimes that shit is just spot on. You and me, we like the same kind of music. That's why we make a good you and me. 

I'm failing pretty hard at real life today. My cabbie at noon drove three extra blocks and tried to jack my fare up. I wasn't impressed.

I found out my little brother is getting bullied at school and it made me think of the past and how much I really don't miss it. The future is now. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Bonus points for this reference: I will not sit idly by as the events that affect me unfold to change the course of my life. I will take a stand and I will defend it.

You fools, Soylent Green is people!

I'll likely be resigning from the theatre in the next few weeks. It's just more prudent given current circumstances. I'll miss it, though. I've worked there for more than seven years and for seven years I've been able to define myself as someone who has better taste in movies than the average person walking into a multiplex. 

I bet you didn't know we judge you, did you? We're so much worse than the asshole at the record store because we judge you multiple times on the same visit. We judge you when you purchase your tickets for Speed Racer, we judge you when you get your ticket ripped at the door podium and meander into Speed Racer, and we judge you when we see you walk out of Speed Racer as we go to clean it. Don't think we don't notice how you can't even meet our eyes at the end of the film. Go cry in the restroom and put cigarettes out on your thighs for that hour and half you just wasted. 

It seems I've fulfilled my bitterness quote for the day, so I leave you with this

Once you've clicked that link, click the button for howl. I promise you won't be disappointed.