This year? My year.

I spoke with Mitchell last night and told him to get on updating his blog. I think he should also make Jeremy blog while he's living in France. Talking to Mitchell always gives me such a renewed sense of purpose in life. Is that weird?

I started Oryx and Crake yesterday. I'm liking it so far.

The moral of the story? I don't like the word "ooze"

Oh look! A present for me! I wasn't expecting anything at all from him. This is a huge shock. I can't really tell what it is because he's ace at wrapping presents. Our text exchange goes something like this:

Melinda: What did you send me?
Mitchell: Why don't you open it and find out?
Melinda: Tease. My birthday isn't until Monday!
Mitchell: Oh are you going to wait then??
Melinda: I should!
Mitchell: As you wish.

During this exchange, I have opened the card. It turns out to be a Christmas card.


AN INAPPROPRIATE CHRISTMAS CARD. Like there are any other kind.


Awwwwwww.

Melinda: You really are a horrible tease. Love the card.
Mitchell: Oh you should just open it.

So. I do.


It's a book! I wonder what it could be. It's a mass-market, I can tell by the size. Was he unable to find "How To Win Friends And Influence People" in Trade? I know that's a favourite of his to bestow on his friends.


It's very telling this was all I needed to identify which book this was.


Oh. Look. A mass-market movie tie-in edition. My favourite thing in the whole wide world. That Mitchell.


My reaction.

Melinda: You are the worst kind of person. I love your sass.
Mitchell: I ooze sass. I was proud of that one.
Melinda: I'm so blogging the photo journey of that one.
Mitchell: Yes!! Dream come true!

Ships passing in the night...

I can't believe how late to the party I am on some things. I'm going to blame it all on Mitchell. That seems to be a good idea.

I feel like all I do is work, work, work. Which is a pretty fair description of my time this month. Hopefully next month will calm down a bit and I can have some Melinda time.

I'm also thinking of moving my blog to Tumblr because I like their update format a little more than I like Blogger. I'm torn because I like that Blogger is run by Google. Google makes awesome products. But Tumblr. I'll keep you posted. Maybe.

I dislike that no matter how often I dust my desk, it never stays dust free. This is due to the AC vent over my head. Oh well.

Next Monday is Womb Bastille day. Whatever shall I do with myself? I'll work, of course.

Oh man. I always get so antsy when it comes time to leave the city. I wish I could just go right now. At least I didn't have any trouble getting to sleep last night. I won't have my blackberry and that'll be hella weird, but I'll be available via AIM. If you want to text or anything, you already have the number. Or you should. I'm looking at you on this one, Mitchell.

I'm actually pretty stoked on this trip, not gonna lie. But I also know Meghan and I are really just going to spend most of the plane ride planning out our next trip, logistics wise. Chicago in August, what of it? Probably not for Lollapolooza, unless we can maybe roll into town right around the time Manchester Orchestra is playing. I'd pretty much give both testicles [if I had them] to see those guys again.

So much to do tonight.

1. Get cigarettes
2. Finish laundry
3. Pack
4. Get more Failbucks with Meghan
5. Lift-Off!

Who wants to divorce me?

I haven't updated since Thursday. WEIRD. Also, for the record, Mitchell is my favourite person ever right now. From a crack den to the W? Yes, you're my favourite for reasons that aren't just your connections. There's also the fact that sometimes when I think about you, it's hard to breathe because I miss you that much.

I've started actually using my twitter. So. Give 'er. twitter.com/melindahinman

I might change the name back to recordskip, just to go along with the blog title.

Not much has happened this weekend. I went out and got drunk with the boys on Friday. I went to a barbecue on Saturday. I went to church on Sunday.

Speaking of church. Can anyone explain the logic of getting married at 18? If anyone knows this, I'd love to find out. That to me makes ZERO sense. Marriage before you can legally drink in the USA? What if you want to honeymoon in Vegas? You can't gamble! You can't do anything fun! What if you decide at nineteen that you want to go backpacking through Europe and really find yourself. OH WAIT, you have a spouse you need to clear that with. I've said it before and I'll say it again, some day I'll make someone a terrific ex-wife. Just so we're clear, I don't mean that bitterly. I think I'd make an awesome divorce partner.

Trashy Tuesday Fun Fact: I hide my flask in my pants when I go to bars. My flask says "Douchebag."

If The World's At Large, Why Should I Remain?

I spent the weekend with one of the people I love the most in the entire world. I always hope he knows that I deeply and desperately love him. Not in the deep and desperate way that would make it awkward, just in the way that he's seen me at my worst and loves me regardless. 

Tonight, one of my friends is falling apart. She's one of a very few I can count on in the pinchiest of pinches. My dear friend, I don't want you to worry. Like I said, don't let the man [or the hand you hold] hold you down. 

For a reason that eludes me, I'm deeply and desperately in love with the world at large. It's strange because everyone who lives will some day die, and die alone. We will all float on okay, though. I promise. 

Oh God. This weekend.

Late planes, late nights.

Never has this phrase been more applicable:

"Those nights that turned into mornings, with those friends that turned into family."

♥

Thursday: Arrived late, had sushi with Mitchell and Lydia. Watched High Fidelity.

Friday: Bought a silo worth of alcohol, had coffee and cigarettes with Landon, bought shoes, looked at comics, had dinner, consumed silo of alcohol, jump-attacked Lydia and Tristan in bed, bought more alcohol, got drunker, watched Landon headsmash, wrangled Landon home, discussed many deep things, went to the water, went on Tangents [capitalized for emphasis, frequency, and our ability to come back to the point], went to the waterfront, went to the sauna, got locked out of the sauna, tried every wacky scheme we could to get in, sat in the elevator and pretended we were trapped, finally got let in by a woman coming home from the bar, went upstairs, smoked a last cigarette, went to bed watching Family Guy.

Saturday: Woke up and watched more Family Guy, visited Landon at work, bought books, got dinner, watched Ghost Town, began drinking second silo of alcohol, got fancied up, drew on glass walls, attended gala, won a Frilly Lily gift basket from a silent auction, Mitchell won 20 lbs of fudge [don't bother making jokes, we already made every single one of them], went to the gay bar, went to another gay bar, got super salty, came home, made a video about our saltiness, watched racially insensitive material, took more pictures, went to bed.

Sunday: [Original day of departure] Woke up at 9 a.m., went to Elbow Room, got sexually harassed and extremely drunk at breakfast, went back to the apartment, lounged, packed, went shopping, bought comics, watched Almost Famous, had sushi, missed flight, went to hotel, was salty, watched Family Channel, slept.

Monday: Hotel failed in waking me up, almost missed flight again, made flight, went home, showered, went to work.

Yes, I do always rule this much. Sexless marriages, polygamy, and photos to follow when I don't fail as much.

Mitchell says I don't blog enough, and since last night proved that I do whatever he tells me, here's a blog.

All my bags are packed; I'm ready to go.

Sarah is covering me, sort of, while I'm gone. This means I will no longer have to listen to my boss mumble under her breath. She does this all the time, talk to herself. I have an inner monologue, but it's inner. As in "No one else hears what I am saying to myself in my head."

She doesn't seem to get this concept.

I'm in Vancouver this weekend, where I shall remain whisk-less but protected by the fact that I'll be in a high-rise. If I were to be in a horror movie, though, it would be on Saturday Night when I'm at a gala in high heels that look wildly inappropriate for day to day life. Picture this:

I hold a glass of wine in my hand, laughing softly at some joke one of my companions has just made and I'm ready to engage in our patented witty repartee when all of a sudden, the lights go out. "It's just a breaker," someone calls out. "They'll have it fixed in a moment."

It'll rain, because it always rains. There might be thunder and lightning but probably not. Eventually, someone will try to leave because the dark makes people of all ages uncomfortable, whether they admit it or not. That's when they'll find the doors locked.

Me? I'm still frozen with my wine glass halfway to my lips. That's when the first scream erupts from somewhere on the outskirts of the crowd.

See? Horror movie waiting to happen. I'll ditch the heels and run like hell to the nearest window. I don't want to have to be in a sequel.

I can't remember the last time a serial killer stalked a gala, though. Maybe I'll be okay.

To Do To Day:

1. Stop at the bank
2. Stop at Shoe Store
3. Pack last-minute articles
4. Give you hell?

Post after this detailing exactly what I've been watching/listing to lately.

My word! It's been forever since I blogged, eight whole days. I've been keeping myself very busy between ________ Night Girl's Club, Chapters, and work. In there, I've found time to book myself a flight to Vancouver, be awesome, and drink about 6 more shots of espresso a day than any person should consume.

C'est la vie. Tout va bien.

That was a few hours ago. I take it back. Tout ne va pas bien. I just got back from seeing the doctor and I'm getting tested for Strep and Mono. Je n'aime pas.

Anyway, now that I've wasted 3 hours at the doctor's office, I've got to catch up at work.

Mitchell, I'm sorry, I know I said I'd post my goals in here for 2009 and I haven't yet. I fail, I only just got them down onto paper and into my other blog. Some of them are really, really personal though and I don't really feel like having them everywhere, so I'll just fill you in on them. Here are some things that aren't goals, per se, but things I'd like to accomplish this year:

1. Buy a canvas and either silkscreen it or paint it to match the words I live and die by.

2. Visit Mitchell at least twice.

3. Stop self-medicating to treat my extreme social anxiety. 

4. Be more organized with my personal paperwork. File all papers by third day of following month. Where I can, go paperless.

5. In going along with number 3, find a shrink by June 30. 

6. Clean out my closet and either consign or donate the clothes I don't wear. "I might wear it" will no longer be accepted as an excuse.

7. Make my bed every day. 

8. Take more time to read. 

9. Get more sleep. The fact that I'm posting this after 11:30 on a week night says that I'm not doing so well on that. 

I had a bitchin' Christmas and New Year. New Year's Eve was all kinds of ridic that I won't even mention. I got a lot and gave a lot for Christmas. I'm very lucky to have my friends and family. I love my friends and family. I try to tell them that more. I had the flu for Christmas and woke up Saturday with what I found out on Monday was tonsillitis. Yeah. Awful lotta awesome in my body this holiday season. [That's what SHE said.]

Chapters is still awesome, I'm still awesome, and most importantly, you're still awesome. Because I'm still awesome, have some pictures of me looking awesome with my Femmebot hair. [It's Mitchell's personal brand of heroin. We're lame, we know.]

My new coat. Note how unimpressed I look. That's not for any particular reason.

One of my Christmas presents. Also, I like my boobs in that picture. 

Melinda is tired after Boxing Day. She is tired but her hair could go for days. The winning hairspray appears to be the red bottle from Samy. 

This is the latest from Saddlecreek...

I am Melinda, this is my heart.

The more I listen to Motion City, the more I realize that they could be my new Blink 182. It's cliche for a band to save your life, so let's just say they enrich mine. Really, I was listening to a bunch of stuff I haven't listened to for a year or so and trying to remember albums that I loved at one point. I was such a stereotypical twenty-two year old. I'm still stereotypical, but now I'm a year older.

I'm an official employee of Chapters now. For now, forever. 

I'm considering a Toronto visit in March, but only because I'm so ridiculous I can't stand myself. I can't really help it that I'm a suck for anything acoustic gingers. 

Mitchell told me that since I'm a femmebot now I have to be more careful where I toss my hair. This seems to be true. Except that buttflap boy shall not get a chance to sniff my hair now. Fail, Scott.

I just got invited to Wingo. Wings+Bingo=Awesome Tuesday Night? Maybe, maybe. Except that I only eat wings in certain company because they're so messy and the last time I played Bingo, I was too drunk for real life.

Oh well, it's a Tuesday. Hey Lush, have fun.

Mitchell likes the hair, Meghan likes the hair, I like the hair. Everyone seems to like the hair, so I think I'll make it my signature. Like Lucille Ball's lips.

Meghan and I are going to see Twilight again. Yes, we're ridiculous, but seriously. I don't think we've ever had so much fun watching a movie! Maybe this time we'll bring booze in and play the drinking game. Seriously, that vomit face? Never not good. Also, I definitely just told her: I'll get the tickets, you get the failbucks?

The back of my hand is itchy. When your palm is itchy, it means you're going to get money. I think the back of my hand is itchy because I want to spend money. I'm done my Christmas shopping so that just means shopping for myself. Oh! I got a free subscription to Nylon, which is fun. I didn't think I would because normally those offers don't extend to Canada, but this one did and it was awesome to come home last night and find the new issue in my mailbox, just waiting for me.

If I don't go to Wingo tonight, it's laundry and cleaning, something I've totally neglected in the past few weeks. Oh well, c'est la vie. Maybe just one round.

And she never lost her head, even when she was giving head.

Hey Babe, take a walk on the wild side.

I'm officially done my Christmas shopping. I just submitted the last online order for delivery in 6 - 8 weeks. I'm feeling good about it.

Oh, I can't stand the hype. But I can get behind best friends bringing boxes. Especially when those boxes are full of the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree I so desperately wanted. Mitchell is kind of awesome like that.

I didn't get as much done as I wanted to this week and it's partly my fault, partly life's.

I just found out my boss is out of town all next week! Hurray! I can actually get things done when I'm not chained to my desk doing to most ridiculous shit ever for her. Oh, apparently three of my bosses are gone next week. I just might have to take a sick day and enjoy the beautiful fall. Or the freezing cold. It'll probably be Thursday so Meghan and I can secure our spots early for Twilight. Yes, I'm a loser. Yes, I'm totally okay with it.

Work tonight at Chapters and possibly reading more of The Rules of Attraction. How fast can you powerhouse a coffee? I'll stick with green tea tonight and see if that makes the night go by just as fast. I'm actually crazily proud of myself. I've sold 3 of these really expensive box sets at work and it's kind of awesome.

I'm missing Vancouver like mad right now. Last year, I was in the same mood for the same reason. Maybe one day I'll get to go and not come back. You can't understand the discontent with Calgary until you've left and had to come back.

I know, I know. I want! I'm pretty much in love with two things on the Urban Outfitters site.



and



Yeah, I'm actually super lame and no one is surprised. Things like this make me wish I lived in Edmonton or Vancouver, because then I could buy them and my life would be complete. Let's be honest, that Charlie Brown tree? More room for presents!

So, Chapters is going well. I'm secretly kind of in love with books. I keep doing re-shelve or tasking and finding books that I'm like "Hm, I want to read this." But I'm being very careful about not buying everything I see or I'd definitely need to buy a new bookshelf right away.

I already need a new bookshelf. As soon as I move out, I'll probably look into getting this:



because it can handle LPs and oversized books. I'll likely get it in black, though. I might grab a storage basket or two for the miscellaneous 45s and headphones and cords and whatnot that I have.

I'm finally getting a physical copy of Howl
This week is going to be a little more relaxed than last week. In no particular order, I must:

• Change my car's oil
• Get a quote on repairing the driver's side door of my car
• Take wire CD rack to Meghan
• Rip some more CDs to my laptop
• Pick up the last of my Christmas shopping: 1 physical gift card, 3 online orders of gift cards, and 1 gift for the boy who has everything except me.
• Get a hair cut
• Wrap Christmas gifts
• Write 3000 words
• Obtain a copy of How I Met Your Mother Season 1/2

I might also buy The Bro Code, because that shit is awesome. For example:

A bro's mom is off-limits at all times, unless she's a step-mother, she initiates it and is wearing leopard print.

You really can't make that up, can you?

Brief but sweet

1. Finishing twilight saga in less than a week.

2. Vancouver in 24-ish hours.

3. Excellent times.

4. Tying the knot not knowing how to not go.
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Remember that time that I would only smoke marlboros?

Me either. This past night was a gong-show. I wish I could accurately represent what happened? But in order:

1. Renaldo, giving us some Mean Girls. Madge being straight-up 50s. 

2. Not getting enough drinks but being danced all up on right away.

3. Having two gays to rescue you instead of just one. 

4. Chugging coolers.

5. Hot wrist-bandana guy being too hot for real life.

6. Meeting a pornstar and not realizing he was a pornstar until Landon recognized from pornographic material he has studied.

7. Rosalie and Alex coming to an afterparty with us. 

8. Our own afterparty being better than anything else we could have done.

9. Almost getting killed by group of slightly homophobic people who don't take too kindly to being flipped off. No, actually.

10. Underwear party with painting, uninvited upstairs guests entering in the most unusual way ever, and a group bath.

11. Our paintings including peppercorns and bandages. 

12. The most awkward morning after this side of Mary finding out she was pregnant with Jesus.

13. Random gay men being perfectly awesome to dance with. 

14. Short gay men running rampant!

15. Go-Go Dancers! 

16. Someone totally fucking calling Piece of Me 8 seconds before it played. 

17. Alex passing out on the couch and us having to check to make sure he was alive and ensuring he was in the proper vomiting position.

18. Nerdy straight boys? No. 

19. Once again making out with a gay boy.

20. Mixing champagne, vodka, rockstar for the cocktail of doom. 

21. Drinking a silo, van, and bucket of alcohol. 

22. Spoon-dancing? Something involving spoons over our nipples and Landon grabbing my breasts for no apparent reason. 

23. Drinking while watching The Gods Must Be Crazy and thinking it was a documentary.

24. The bathroom being the best fucking seat in the house. 

25. Corporate discussions on the balcony. 

And now, I think I want to go smoke with Landon, my new BFF from last night. He and I might actually be the same person. We're trying to piece together the evening and all of us have different recollections of everything but something none of us can figure out is whether or not we were wearing pants when the guy scaled the wall, Spiderman-style.

Wearing Pants Makes You Popular

The title of today's blog comes from a sign I saw today in H&M. I have my doubts about the truthfulness of it. If people were meant to wear pants, there wouldn't be the show Pants Off Dance Off, now would there?

Bygones. 

I'm currently updating from Mitchell's bed in Vancouver. It's not as sexy as it sounds. No, actually it is. I arrived yesterday evening amidst unusual circumstances and was whisked away to sushi with Mitchell. After, we watched Everything Gone Green and had drinks.

It's a wonderful movie and I highly recommend it. There were things I picked up on yesterday that I didn't pick up on the first time I watched it. One thing I cannot stress enough is that you should not watch it if you're only watching it because you think it's a stoner comedy. The cover does the film a horrendous disservice by making one think it's some comedy to watch a) about getting blazed or b) while one is blazed. For God's sake, it's by Douglas Coupland!

This is the cover of the "Unrated Edition", the one that makes it look like a stoner comedy.

This is the "Rated Edition", that much more accurately depicts the film's content.

Ugh. Forget this, I'm going to just tell you that today I bought:

A jacket

3 CDs

4 DVDs

1 Comic

And now I'm going to go. While I have the chance, I'll say sorry in advance for all the drunk dials.

Let's go outside and we'll play William Tell

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

When you start listening to me, I'll start listening to you.

Update in point form!

• Not moving out. Bummed.
• Back from LA. Sort of miss parts of it.
• Vancouver in 2 weeks.
• Epic room clean scheduled for the rest of forever. Let's box it up.
• $20 scanners because I am the queen.
• Decorating ideas.
• Agreeing with Kyle on things.
• Vancouver in 2 months.
• The idea of karma.
• Road trips in 1 year.
• Your face!

Just kidding on that last one, I love your face. This update has been brought to you by the letters C, M, K, and the number 7.

Are you sure you want a piece of me?

My body says sleep but my brain says be prolific. The eternal struggle. I feel as though it's been a very long week and it only just started. 

I've heard some new music today and I heard a song today that reminded me how much I want it. I need to find a music program that isn't Kazaa or Limewire because I don't want my computer pooched for the rest of eternity. I watched Saved! tonight and I forgot how much I love that movie. It reminds me of such a specific time in my life and how it showed one person that indie was not always shit. I like to think that I invented you. ANYWAY, the point of that was they use this Arthur Joseph song in it and the song always tugs at my heartstrings. 

Wow. Piece of Me by Britney Spears just came on my iTunes and it took me back to February where it was a constant rotation of Blackout and Viva La Cobra. There's nothing quite like drinking champagne out of paper coffee cups in the back of a cab. It's certainly the way to do things right.

The cards show a page six blind item for September. I can feel the excitement building in the air.

This weekend I met the most obnoxious BC stoner and then watched The Plain White Ts. I felt bad, the crowd left after they played Hey There, Delilah. They have more than one song. True story. I definitely grinned until my face hurt at You and Me. Because sometimes that shit is just spot on. You and me, we like the same kind of music. That's why we make a good you and me. 

It always makes me feel better to know I have these kind of friends. I know, I just quoted the world's biggest asshole/sellout/best friend/heartbreaker/drama king/genuinely really nice guy on here but it's only because I really feel like I have a few friends who could be that kind of friend for me if I needed them to be.

Tonight I got a message that said someone was feeling nostalgic a moment ago and they wanted me to be with them. When I think of Vancouver, it's always sunny and warm, even when we're getting rained on and standing in front of church doors saying Our Fathers like they make a difference. Saying September is soon is my way of keeping myself sane, didn't you know?

You are every one of my favourite songs. You're the way my red shoes look against wet pavement. You're the perfect smoke ring. You're a perfectly clear night where the stars are shining. You're the moment where I feel infinite and insignificant all at once. You're you, and that's somehow even better than everything else.