You should see my decoupage...

Today I saw an unusually large bucket of cottage cheese while I was walking through the basement. I don't want to to know why it was there, who bought it, or what might have actually been in it. I just know that I hate these engineers.

Yesterday, I had to play movie quote dictionary for two of them. They kept coming up with stuff I hadn't seen. Like Team America. Look, I like puppet sex as much as the next person [which is to say "Not at all!"] but the part where the puppet kept puking? Gross, no thank you.

More How I Met Your Mother last night after picking up toothpaste and Starbucks. I really can't get enough of Barney's depravity. Honestly though? If I lived in New York City? I'd probably be just as creative as him in getting people into bed. Fortunately I'm a girl. And girls don't have to work for it.

I'm seeing Empires for the first time this weekend. If the world continues spinning like I think it will, it'll be one of my last chances to see them in a tiny-ass club. Also, I can't take anybody seriously today.

Family Guy Quote of the Day: Sorry, Kids. Daddy loves you, but Daddy also loves TV, and TV was here first.

I haven't tried it but I think I've quite decided I will wake you when you're dead.

Man I miss Piebald. Travis Shettel's half hour of power, anyone? Okay, less half-hour more ten minutes, but whatever. They only had a forty minute set and when you spend most of it shittalking your guitarist for getting kicked out of Herbrew school, there's only so long you have for your solo songs.

I had an awesome night at Chapters last night. A woman came in looking for Breaking Dawn and I probably talked with her for half an hour about what we consider to be classic children's literature. We talked about Bridge to Terebithia and how we thought it translated well to the big-screen and about The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and how it made me want to vomit with rage at how much they effed that one up.

Then to congratulate myself I bought the graphic novel adaptations of Neverwhere, Stardust, a new novel called Is/Was, and One More Day. I don't really know how I feel about Tuesdays With Morrie, because I remember a joke about it on Family Guy.

"Do you like my ass?"
"Yes."
"Do you like cake?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to eat cake off my ass?"
"Yes."

Sometimes my brain does cutaways.

I wasn't all that pleasant to be around yesterday during the day because some person decided to pawn work off onto me. What I did usually takes him/her all day, and I definitely had it done in about an hour. I'm pretty excited for the next time he/she asks me to do his/her work for him/her. Mitchell told me exactly what to say to him/her and it's going to be priceless to see the look on his/her face. Gosh, the pronoun game is fun.

Chapters in general is really fun, even though I'm buying books like they're going out of style. Lately, I've been thinking more and more about something a friend said, which was that they wanted to have the kind of book collection that if they were ever forced to flee the country, it would be their books they took with them. I think I'm getting there. I'm also debating how to organize my books. I've started shelving them with the spines at the edge of the shelves so the disparity of size matters less. I found out there are people who are just as anal about that as I am. There are also people who are anal about the movie tie-in editions and mass-market paperback editions. Finally, I don't feel like an anal-retentive bastard about wanting certain books.



I don't feel like a bad person now for wanting that ^^^ instead of this:



The top one is trade-paperback and the bottom one is mass-market. No big plans this weekend other than to curl up with my laptop and a cup of tea. And now, I do work.

"Money. Sex. Money. Money. Sex. Money. Cats."

Fuck, some people are twats.

Meghan, I'll tell you who tomorrow when we're having hangs, because what else do we do with our lives? Also, I have some of that faily eyelash glue still stuck to my eyelashes. That's just not fair.

Last night, pre-Twilight, post-ogling my hot-ass manager, Meghan and I came to the conclusion that we're roommates that live in different houses. For example. I will wander over to her place and go in and curl up on her bed while waiting for her to finish getting ready so we can go out and do the same thing we always do [Starbucks, smoke our faces off, and talk about Monoply/Life: The FBR edition]. Or we will go to Chapters and it's not even in question if she can use my employee discount. Basically, it rules.

I think I'm pretty much done with Facebook. It just annoys me now.

The plan this weekend is to be at home for as much of it as possible and rip the last of my CDs, get my paperwork all filed, and be ready for winter. I bought a turtleneck today and it itches like Gabe's crotch. But it looks cute, unlike Gabe's crotch, so I'm keeping it.

I work tonight and I'm so excited, now when they page a cashier to cash, I can actually answer the page.

This weekend:

• Laundry
• Put away CDs
• Finish The Rules of Attraction
• Clean room from top to bottom
• Clean bathroom
• Go through closet
• Put up TC prints, my walls are too bare
• Get my haircut? Maybe?

I also don't really know how I feel about this because, wow, I've wanted that forever. But. Wow. I don't want to think about that because that'll get my hopes up. I think what I'll just say is that I hope things work out for the best for everyone.

Ah ha. Internet, trying to trip me up from telling my offensive jokes. Yeah, right.

Q. How do you tell if a native woman is menstruating?

A. She's only wearing one sock.

Q: What do you get if you put 50 lesbians and 50 natives in one room?

A: 100 people who don't do dick.

Q: How do you tell if an East Indian woman is pregnant?

A: The red dot on her forehead turns blue.

Q: Why do they call native men braves?

A: Have you seen the women they have to fuck?

Did you hear about the east indian man who put odor eaters in his shoes? He disappeared.

Q: How do you tell if a lesbian built a house?

A: There's no studs, it's all tongue in groove.

If a Hudderite couple gets divorced, are they still brother and sister?

I'm not sure if I remember any more of the jokes that Paul* told us. But he used to be a stand-up comedian. Blame him if you're offended, not me.

But when I heard the word "Brave", I definitely wanted to watch Ernest Goes To Camp. Who doesn't love that shit? Definitely me. I'm going to proudly watch Ernest Goes To Camp and think about really offensive things until I go to sleep. 

Good Night Calgary, and Good Night Adam, my friend for 5 Years. We don't need the theatre, because we have a long-ass friendship and siblinghood that isn't dependent on blood/legal relations.

A is for the way you look at me.

D is for the only one I see.

A is very, very extra-ordinary.

M is even more than anyone that you adore and love. 

Oh, wait, that's not ADAM, that's LOVE. Oh well, jugs of triples do that to you. At least I'm mostly coherent in this drunk post. Hearts and stars and kisses and love.