Wow. Tym did indeed start reading the blog. I'm sure he'll be enthralled. The office and it's employees are haggard this morning, with the exception of a few. That's what happens when you work with engineers.

Okay. I can get through the day. Maybe. Probably not. I don't even want to be here right now. I want to be on a plane. I'm going to bring my blanket again so I can sleep on the plane. There's a Blink 182 reference to be made, but I've not had enough caffeine to make it.

To Do Before Leaving:

1. Pack
2. Stop laughing at my co-workers
3. Re-set office.

Oh man, guys. Oh man. There's so much blackmail after last night.

New York tomorrow. If I can manage to be alive. I have my doubts as to whether that can happen or not.

I gave Brad and Tym my blog address tonight, so here's seeing if they start reading. I'm guessing they'll be very bored, BUT! Both Brad and I and Tym and I had high-fives that silenced the bar tonight. Take that.

A dead Lois?

Maybe you're a classy girl, but tonight I plan on drinking crotch vodka.

Sometimes I say things for no reason other than the desire to say things that are completely inappropriate. I also feel it necessary to expend all negative energy I'm feeling on one person. God help you if you're the only one in the room.

Meghan has good news for me tonight and I'm hoping it's something ridiculous, like she won the lottery and is taking me as a trophy bride. Also, I got the cutest, oddest compliment today. I have a Bibo calendar and a Toucan Sam laptop case, the laptop case being the same one as in a previous post on here. Either way, it's freakin' presh. So, I guess Trevor told his wife about both of these things because he sent me an email that said his wife thinks she and I might have similar tastes and could I give any reccomendations for a laptop.

Naturally, I pimped the last generation MacBooks, because those babies are sleek. Anyway. I explained all my reasons for liking it and he forwarded the email to his wife. Her response was:

Oh, I just knew she'd have a Mac! :)

They were in the top three of every review I read! Tell her thank you for all her help.

I don't remember what the rest of the email said, there was more that was complimentary to me. She's so precious. Honestly, though? I pimp Macs. I'll be in Future Shop, just looking and help someone make the decision to buy a Mac. It's pretty awesome.

Anyway, time to find out the good news! I hope it's a pony!

You should see my decoupage...

Today I saw an unusually large bucket of cottage cheese while I was walking through the basement. I don't want to to know why it was there, who bought it, or what might have actually been in it. I just know that I hate these engineers.

Yesterday, I had to play movie quote dictionary for two of them. They kept coming up with stuff I hadn't seen. Like Team America. Look, I like puppet sex as much as the next person [which is to say "Not at all!"] but the part where the puppet kept puking? Gross, no thank you.

More How I Met Your Mother last night after picking up toothpaste and Starbucks. I really can't get enough of Barney's depravity. Honestly though? If I lived in New York City? I'd probably be just as creative as him in getting people into bed. Fortunately I'm a girl. And girls don't have to work for it.

I'm seeing Empires for the first time this weekend. If the world continues spinning like I think it will, it'll be one of my last chances to see them in a tiny-ass club. Also, I can't take anybody seriously today.

Family Guy Quote of the Day: Sorry, Kids. Daddy loves you, but Daddy also loves TV, and TV was here first.

Melinda, I've been hearing chatter all over town that Hannah was fired. Is this true? Please confirm!!!

Quite possibly the best wall post I've ever had on Facebook. Team Hannah wins again. I'm debating flying in my Team Hannah shirt, just to keep the pride alive. Jack is going to make us shirts with the Pandadragon. I tried explaining Hannah to my parents, they think I'm making fun of her, but I think I lost them after "and whenever she gets distressed, which is a lot, she poops fire."

Oh no, did I lose you too?

Once again, I'm more on the up and up than you guys. Someone is going down the tubes today because it's just not working out. We think he's a great guy, but we really need to focus on our careers. Oh, wait, he's getting fired, not broken up with. Point is, he's a busted leg on the centipede that is my company. In the almost year I've worked with him, I think I've said about three words to him. It's just weird, is all.

I'm so bored at work today. So, I'm going to do work that doesn't require my attention.

We're only here for one more night

My boss is so precious, guys. He's applying for Canadian citizenship because he's Irish and he was like "I think it's about time, don't you?" He said he's been here since 1982 and that makes him more Canadian than me. It does, man.

I'm very, very in love with How I Met Your Mother. How have I waited until now to discover this show? It's legen- Wait for it -dary.

I got invited to go to yet another boozelympics this weekend. Also:

YYC -> YYZ -> LGA
EWR -> ORD -> YYC
YYC -> YYZ -> LGA
LGA -> YYZ -> YYC

Check it, bitches. That's in May.

Next month is YYC -> YVR -> YYC

I used to think it was sad that I knew airport codes, but then I realized that other people are lame for not knowing them. In summary? I rock, you suck.

I finished my first book of January. I don't want to tell you what it was, but it was Sweet Valley High. I don't even care how badly these were written, it was good to read the flipside of the Sweet Valley Saga. I truly did want to know all about the magnificent Theo W. I've had this open all morning, I'm so lame.

Anyway. Everyone, watch How I Met Your Mother and we can all still be friends.

My word! It's been forever since I blogged, eight whole days. I've been keeping myself very busy between ________ Night Girl's Club, Chapters, and work. In there, I've found time to book myself a flight to Vancouver, be awesome, and drink about 6 more shots of espresso a day than any person should consume.

C'est la vie. Tout va bien.

That was a few hours ago. I take it back. Tout ne va pas bien. I just got back from seeing the doctor and I'm getting tested for Strep and Mono. Je n'aime pas.

Anyway, now that I've wasted 3 hours at the doctor's office, I've got to catch up at work.

I just got invited to Wingo. Wings+Bingo=Awesome Tuesday Night? Maybe, maybe. Except that I only eat wings in certain company because they're so messy and the last time I played Bingo, I was too drunk for real life.

Oh well, it's a Tuesday. Hey Lush, have fun.

Mitchell likes the hair, Meghan likes the hair, I like the hair. Everyone seems to like the hair, so I think I'll make it my signature. Like Lucille Ball's lips.

Meghan and I are going to see Twilight again. Yes, we're ridiculous, but seriously. I don't think we've ever had so much fun watching a movie! Maybe this time we'll bring booze in and play the drinking game. Seriously, that vomit face? Never not good. Also, I definitely just told her: I'll get the tickets, you get the failbucks?

The back of my hand is itchy. When your palm is itchy, it means you're going to get money. I think the back of my hand is itchy because I want to spend money. I'm done my Christmas shopping so that just means shopping for myself. Oh! I got a free subscription to Nylon, which is fun. I didn't think I would because normally those offers don't extend to Canada, but this one did and it was awesome to come home last night and find the new issue in my mailbox, just waiting for me.

If I don't go to Wingo tonight, it's laundry and cleaning, something I've totally neglected in the past few weeks. Oh well, c'est la vie. Maybe just one round.

And she never lost her head, even when she was giving head.

Hey Babe, take a walk on the wild side.

I'm officially done my Christmas shopping. I just submitted the last online order for delivery in 6 - 8 weeks. I'm feeling good about it.

Oh, I can't stand the hype. But I can get behind best friends bringing boxes. Especially when those boxes are full of the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree I so desperately wanted. Mitchell is kind of awesome like that.

I didn't get as much done as I wanted to this week and it's partly my fault, partly life's.

I just found out my boss is out of town all next week! Hurray! I can actually get things done when I'm not chained to my desk doing to most ridiculous shit ever for her. Oh, apparently three of my bosses are gone next week. I just might have to take a sick day and enjoy the beautiful fall. Or the freezing cold. It'll probably be Thursday so Meghan and I can secure our spots early for Twilight. Yes, I'm a loser. Yes, I'm totally okay with it.

Work tonight at Chapters and possibly reading more of The Rules of Attraction. How fast can you powerhouse a coffee? I'll stick with green tea tonight and see if that makes the night go by just as fast. I'm actually crazily proud of myself. I've sold 3 of these really expensive box sets at work and it's kind of awesome.

I'm missing Vancouver like mad right now. Last year, I was in the same mood for the same reason. Maybe one day I'll get to go and not come back. You can't understand the discontent with Calgary until you've left and had to come back.

We're not that far from voting Feldman-Haim.

Today, I got to utter the best sentence ever and it is the only reason I know the movie I was watching was a good movie. "Everyone dies except Corey Feldman."

This has been a long week. I worked almost fifty hours at the office and another twenty at the theatre and when you're not getting paid for your overtime at the office, that's kind of a big deal. Thankfully, I went and drank with Meghan and watched Family Channel. Mitchell can attest to the fact that I love watching it when I'm drunk. I woke up one morning in our hotel room and it was on, apparently I made him leave it on that while we were trying to sleep.

I needed to just unwind and decompress last night after my week. I was ready to kill someone yesterday when I was in the office. Mostly Muthu. Who am I kidding, always Muthu.

Right! The reason for this blog: If you message on AIM and don't get a response right away, be patient. It's the conference of doom this week and I'm kind of all over the place. Don't give me death, even when I wish for it. And don't ask me why I just ate five Flinstone chewable vitamins in a row, because I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Anyway, I should attempt to get some sleep before tomorrow rolls around. I don't want to die before Corey Feldman.

This is a silly time of day for an update but I just realized today how happy some of my theatre staff makes me. Usually they annoy, frustrate, and irritate me. Today, it was exactly what I needed.

My day at work, despite being able to talk to a really good friend for most of the day, was actually pretty shitty. I'm up to my eyes in work that's been passed off to me by Muthu for a conference I'm not attending at all. I have Adam breathing down my neck about shipments, which is actually the majority of my job and as such I'm usually pretty okay with. I have Karen breathing down my neck about my accounting duties, which I shouldn't actually have, being as they have six people in the accounting department. I have Jack breathing down my neck about travel arrangements for a Chinese delegation that's arriving in a little over a week, again, also a part of my job that I'm pretty okay with.

For example: Adam handed me a stack of CIs and Certificates of Origin to have notarized by Karen. Awesome. I go get the seal and the stamp because Karen always gets me to do that. I find out she's leaving for the next four hours. Not awesome. She doesn't even have time to sign them beforehand so I can just stamp and seal next to her signature. So. She gets back in at 2:30 and I send the documents to the Chamber of Commerce to be certified. I send them on a fireball so they'll be back in time to go to Ottawa. I get a call at approximately 3:30 from the Chamber that says our Arabic documents need to be stamped by a translator. This has never been an issue before. At all. So, I get them back and Adam bitches at me for not getting them out sooner, which really wasn't physically possible.

I'm also kind of salty over the fact that Donna seems to think it's okay to give me Karen's expense reports, even though that's her job. Well, technically, it's Fiona's but Fiona has turned out to be so very useless that I count her as office furniture. I don't even know.

It turned out that all I really needed to do was hear Jack say "HO NO!" It made my day seem infinitely better.

A list, in no particular order:

1. It's been brought to my attention that someone thinks I'm sad, which is not the case at all. Nine times out of ten, the mean/angry/bitter/sad things I say on here aren't meant as such. Intonation is key. Picture me actually saying it. I promise that I'm happy.

2. My boss is out of town for 4 more work days. I don't want to do work on any of those days. 

3. If you haven't downloaded this, I effectively cease our friendship. I dare you to listen to Believe and not picture someone playing it to you while you both sit on a couch, barefoot, the listener watching closely, the performer with their head ducked and not making eye contact. I dare you.

4. I really want a Sunbeam Heated Blanket and I can't find them anywhere. I blame summer.

5. I really, really can't work with kids anymore. I have to get away from teenage drama. 

6. I'm going to be twenty-three in a few weeks. This is more exciting to me than it should be. 

I keep looking over at my suitcases like they'll unpack themselves. Too bad they won't. I love how I can wear a pair of tights for a day and manage to punch so many holes in them.

Today was the AGM at work and I finally talked to someone about hooking up with Scott. It's kind of weird. Andrew came over and was all "How you doin'?" And Oliver just looked at me and told me that he hoped that wasn't some sort of message from Scott.

Busy busy busy at work and not loving it. I hate going away and coming back to find everything fucked right up. But I guess that happens when you do specific things every day. That makes no sense to anyone but me. I'm in charge of documentation for the international shipments of my company. I came back to find about eight shipments stuck in customs in various countries. Unfortunately, I can't do much about them because I'm not listed on any of the paperwork. Ugh. Office space.

I need a vacation to recover from my vacation.

Tomorrow night [actually tonight], I'm going for Starbucks with Meghan where we will discuss her New Favourite Band, ridiculous people, and our ridiculous lives. 

I haven't felt much like writing lately but I feel better. Props to those who helped it along. I leave for New York next Thursday at midnight and I'm really needing to get the hell out of the city.

I've overcome a few stumbling blocks and I just need to get a few things out of the way before I'll feel real again. 

Saturday night was Brandy's birthday and somewhere there's a picture of me holding two cigarettes, a Jager Bomb, a cooler, and my cell phone. Oh, life. I had to calm Jack down when I was probably too drunk to do so. "It's cool, you're struggling but you have faith and that's the important thing." 

Epic list of shit to get through tomorrow and looking forward to my free Wednesday night. If I disappear, you know how to get a hold of me. New phone number, message for it. 

Oh man. So, I don't get the World Edition but that's because the 8330 comes out in stores April 11. Yay! It's the CDMA version of the Curve and obviously this is exciting to me. Go Melinda, it's your birthday.



I managed to get everything done on my ridiculous list of things to do and now I'm kind of bored. My sweater has developed a hole in the sleeve and I'm really none too impressed about that. It just means I have to go buy a new sweater while I'm on lunch today. The only problem with that is that I really, really like this sweater.

Alright, off to be a busy bee.

It's almost time for me to go to bed and I realized that before I go to bed, I always check a couple of different blogs to see what's been posted and what new gadgets are on the market for me to drool over. There are a few things I've been coveting lately and one of them is the last generation iMac. I liked the white, not so much the silver. Obviously, the blackberry that I'm getting tomorrow. Er. Later today. And tonight, while I was reading Dr. Seuss' Wikipedia page, I realized that there are some books by him that I'd really like to get, so I'm going to probably end up adding those to my wish list.

I have a big, long list of things to do tomorrow at work and I'm going to accomplish every single one of them so when Karen sees my vacation request, she won't say "WTF NO FAIL!"

Also, um, Pinder's kind of insanely awesome.

Look, I got a gun out there in my purse, and up to now, I've been forgivin' and forgettin' because of the way I was brought up. But I'll tell you one thing, if you ever say another word about me, or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine, and I'm gonna change you from rooster to a hen with one shot.

BOUNCE

Sometimes that's all you need to get yourself psyched.

Hey, remember that time when I would only eat boxes of tangerines? So cheap and juicy.

This weekend was kind of weird and non-descript in the sense that nothing really happened but what did happen was pretty much the worst stuff ever. Formal written statements are kind of something that makes my stomach twist up whenever I think about it. Fortunately the brother was in town to take me out and make me forget all about it. Watching Travis do a muff dive was maybe the best part of my night? I don't know. I poured myself into bed around midnight on Friday but was so drunk that I stayed up IM-ing people. And those people could totally tell how drunk I was.

Saturday, I visited my Grandpa with the family and realized how badly I never want to get that old. He's still a sweet old man with a good sense of humor. When I got back, I had hangs with Meghan where we talked about how sweet it would be have extra fingers. I quote "No, just think about it, you could pick your nose and if your face got itchy, you could scratch it without having to stop digging for boogers!" I don't know about us sometimes, guys.We watched Shutter and were pretty much disappointed in it. Don't waste your time.

Sunday, went to church with the family and spent the entire time on the phone with Taylor, discussing things of much importance.

I'm trying a new form of whitening on my teeth and so far I'm liking it. I just have to figure out how I'm going to fit in the half hour today. Oh well, I'll work it out.