I just got invited to Wingo. Wings+Bingo=Awesome Tuesday Night? Maybe, maybe. Except that I only eat wings in certain company because they're so messy and the last time I played Bingo, I was too drunk for real life.

Oh well, it's a Tuesday. Hey Lush, have fun.

Mitchell likes the hair, Meghan likes the hair, I like the hair. Everyone seems to like the hair, so I think I'll make it my signature. Like Lucille Ball's lips.

Meghan and I are going to see Twilight again. Yes, we're ridiculous, but seriously. I don't think we've ever had so much fun watching a movie! Maybe this time we'll bring booze in and play the drinking game. Seriously, that vomit face? Never not good. Also, I definitely just told her: I'll get the tickets, you get the failbucks?

The back of my hand is itchy. When your palm is itchy, it means you're going to get money. I think the back of my hand is itchy because I want to spend money. I'm done my Christmas shopping so that just means shopping for myself. Oh! I got a free subscription to Nylon, which is fun. I didn't think I would because normally those offers don't extend to Canada, but this one did and it was awesome to come home last night and find the new issue in my mailbox, just waiting for me.

If I don't go to Wingo tonight, it's laundry and cleaning, something I've totally neglected in the past few weeks. Oh well, c'est la vie. Maybe just one round.

Apparently I'm giving Dolly Parton hair a try these days. It's getting long and while it's fun, it's a pain to style. So have some pictures from when I was "too pretty for Chapters."

Me at the start of the night.

Me at the end of the night.

I ended up going to see Twilight again. I don't regret it, Jasper is a total hottie, Emmett is a total dork, and Edward is a total tool. It goes without saying that I would have sex with each and every single one of those characters. 

So far tonight, I've had two drunk dials, a drunk text, and concert call. I had another two drunk dials last night. I'm pretty sure that makes tonight made of win. That's not even counting the amount of Starbucks consumed and the books I bought.

"Money. Sex. Money. Money. Sex. Money. Cats."

Fuck, some people are twats.

Meghan, I'll tell you who tomorrow when we're having hangs, because what else do we do with our lives? Also, I have some of that faily eyelash glue still stuck to my eyelashes. That's just not fair.

Last night, pre-Twilight, post-ogling my hot-ass manager, Meghan and I came to the conclusion that we're roommates that live in different houses. For example. I will wander over to her place and go in and curl up on her bed while waiting for her to finish getting ready so we can go out and do the same thing we always do [Starbucks, smoke our faces off, and talk about Monoply/Life: The FBR edition]. Or we will go to Chapters and it's not even in question if she can use my employee discount. Basically, it rules.

I think I'm pretty much done with Facebook. It just annoys me now.

The plan this weekend is to be at home for as much of it as possible and rip the last of my CDs, get my paperwork all filed, and be ready for winter. I bought a turtleneck today and it itches like Gabe's crotch. But it looks cute, unlike Gabe's crotch, so I'm keeping it.

I work tonight and I'm so excited, now when they page a cashier to cash, I can actually answer the page.

This weekend:

• Laundry
• Put away CDs
• Finish The Rules of Attraction
• Clean room from top to bottom
• Clean bathroom
• Go through closet
• Put up TC prints, my walls are too bare
• Get my haircut? Maybe?

I also don't really know how I feel about this because, wow, I've wanted that forever. But. Wow. I don't want to think about that because that'll get my hopes up. I think what I'll just say is that I hope things work out for the best for everyone.

Ah ha. Internet, trying to trip me up from telling my offensive jokes. Yeah, right.

Q. How do you tell if a native woman is menstruating?

A. She's only wearing one sock.

Q: What do you get if you put 50 lesbians and 50 natives in one room?

A: 100 people who don't do dick.

Q: How do you tell if an East Indian woman is pregnant?

A: The red dot on her forehead turns blue.

Q: Why do they call native men braves?

A: Have you seen the women they have to fuck?

Did you hear about the east indian man who put odor eaters in his shoes? He disappeared.

Q: How do you tell if a lesbian built a house?

A: There's no studs, it's all tongue in groove.

If a Hudderite couple gets divorced, are they still brother and sister?

I'm not sure if I remember any more of the jokes that Paul* told us. But he used to be a stand-up comedian. Blame him if you're offended, not me.

But when I heard the word "Brave", I definitely wanted to watch Ernest Goes To Camp. Who doesn't love that shit? Definitely me. I'm going to proudly watch Ernest Goes To Camp and think about really offensive things until I go to sleep. 

Good Night Calgary, and Good Night Adam, my friend for 5 Years. We don't need the theatre, because we have a long-ass friendship and siblinghood that isn't dependent on blood/legal relations.

A is for the way you look at me.

D is for the only one I see.

A is very, very extra-ordinary.

M is even more than anyone that you adore and love. 

Oh, wait, that's not ADAM, that's LOVE. Oh well, jugs of triples do that to you. At least I'm mostly coherent in this drunk post. Hearts and stars and kisses and love.

And she never lost her head, even when she was giving head.

Hey Babe, take a walk on the wild side.

I'm officially done my Christmas shopping. I just submitted the last online order for delivery in 6 - 8 weeks. I'm feeling good about it.

Oh, I can't stand the hype. But I can get behind best friends bringing boxes. Especially when those boxes are full of the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree I so desperately wanted. Mitchell is kind of awesome like that.

I didn't get as much done as I wanted to this week and it's partly my fault, partly life's.

I just found out my boss is out of town all next week! Hurray! I can actually get things done when I'm not chained to my desk doing to most ridiculous shit ever for her. Oh, apparently three of my bosses are gone next week. I just might have to take a sick day and enjoy the beautiful fall. Or the freezing cold. It'll probably be Thursday so Meghan and I can secure our spots early for Twilight. Yes, I'm a loser. Yes, I'm totally okay with it.

Work tonight at Chapters and possibly reading more of The Rules of Attraction. How fast can you powerhouse a coffee? I'll stick with green tea tonight and see if that makes the night go by just as fast. I'm actually crazily proud of myself. I've sold 3 of these really expensive box sets at work and it's kind of awesome.

I'm missing Vancouver like mad right now. Last year, I was in the same mood for the same reason. Maybe one day I'll get to go and not come back. You can't understand the discontent with Calgary until you've left and had to come back.

I know, I know. I want! I'm pretty much in love with two things on the Urban Outfitters site.



and



Yeah, I'm actually super lame and no one is surprised. Things like this make me wish I lived in Edmonton or Vancouver, because then I could buy them and my life would be complete. Let's be honest, that Charlie Brown tree? More room for presents!

So, Chapters is going well. I'm secretly kind of in love with books. I keep doing re-shelve or tasking and finding books that I'm like "Hm, I want to read this." But I'm being very careful about not buying everything I see or I'd definitely need to buy a new bookshelf right away.

I already need a new bookshelf. As soon as I move out, I'll probably look into getting this:



because it can handle LPs and oversized books. I'll likely get it in black, though. I might grab a storage basket or two for the miscellaneous 45s and headphones and cords and whatnot that I have.

I'm finally getting a physical copy of Howl
This week is going to be a little more relaxed than last week. In no particular order, I must:

• Change my car's oil
• Get a quote on repairing the driver's side door of my car
• Take wire CD rack to Meghan
• Rip some more CDs to my laptop
• Pick up the last of my Christmas shopping: 1 physical gift card, 3 online orders of gift cards, and 1 gift for the boy who has everything except me.
• Get a hair cut
• Wrap Christmas gifts
• Write 3000 words
• Obtain a copy of How I Met Your Mother Season 1/2

I might also buy The Bro Code, because that shit is awesome. For example:

A bro's mom is off-limits at all times, unless she's a step-mother, she initiates it and is wearing leopard print.

You really can't make that up, can you?

My blackberry is dying a slow painful death. Unavailable on it until further notice. :(

Quiet now, you're sucking the charm out.

That's what she said!

No, but apparently that's what some boys say.

I was in a pretty salty mood because my boss is salty today and she tends to treat everyone like crap when she feels like that. But the way she was being made me feel like it was my fault she was upset. HO NO, not the case. She's pissed at Oliver.

Yay!

I'm mainlining coffee this week like it's going out of style. It is, kind of.

Last night, I saw SawV with Meghan and while most people said "Too much killing, not enough backstory!" I said "loves me some backstory! Pls to be telling me more about *********'s sordid past!"

I'm pretty much awesome at not giving spoilers.

UGH. I'm so unimpressed with courier companies today. FedEx and UPS can eat poop. I definitely just hung up on the asshole UPS guy, he doesn't deserve to share the phone line with me. Richard also doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as me.

My Christmas shopping is almost done. I just have to go pick up Meghan's, a few random gift cards, and actually sit down and do a small amount of online ordering. HA, Meghan, you didn't really think I'd buy your present right in front of you, did you?

This scar is a fleck...

Life is so much more beautiful when you're listening to the right music. I was de-junking last night while listening to Stars and while I was tossing things, all I could hear was "God that was strange to see you again, introduced by a friend of a friend." Maybe my high school memories can be other people's memories now.

I'm actively trying to become a hider, not a seeker. I promise, it's not the bad thing you're thinking it is.

Right now, I'm listening to First Impressions of Earth and I always forget that this album will never make me feel the same things twice, because you only live once. Incidentally, this is where one of my favourite lyrics comes from. "You're the prettiest, smartest captain of the team. I love you more than being seventeen."

That's powerful to me, loving somone more than youth. I hope it's worth it one day.
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

i still don't know exactly who i am, i never will oh man.

Well, blogger. You don't lmoe it but I've been blogging on you all day.

i schooled allison on how to drink like a woman, aka drinking a cooler in 3 seconds (read: 8 seconds)

i went to a house party where andrew was interested but i was not because HELLO! drew = the best times.

meghan is better times. caps wish they were involved in my drunkest post ever. 

theyre not. nor is punctuation. 

stupid davis. trying to get back together  with chantal. dnw, man, dee en dub.

Whatever, I haven't gotten over my crush from grade 10, yall don't know me. yall don't know my life.

apparently ill do some punctuation and spelling but not all. don't judge me?