The Big Douche Theory

This is the last song. Or post. Either way, I've moved to a new server.

The new black.

It's been a wonderful year and a half, but sometimes you just have to let things go. Blogspot is one of them. I still mean it, I'm still coming clean.

FTR: 27 is still the new crazy. I don't care who you are or how we know each other, I will not talk to you while you're 27.

Serenity

The rain is finally clearing. I like being home alone with no expectations. I'm doing laundry and watching Gilmore Girls. Until Wednesday, these cracked bricks are mine.
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Nothing to see here. Move along.

It's been a while. Maybe it just feels like a while. I don't know anymore.

This last week has been so weird, weather-wise. Because of that, it kind of feels like june. For whatever reason, Davis got in touch with me and now we're having a smokebreak tonight. I want to pick his brain about Batman.
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This year? My year.

I spoke with Mitchell last night and told him to get on updating his blog. I think he should also make Jeremy blog while he's living in France. Talking to Mitchell always gives me such a renewed sense of purpose in life. Is that weird?

I started Oryx and Crake yesterday. I'm liking it so far.

The Internet

Today my office was without phones and internet. I'm actually amazing at how productive I was without either of those. And it frustrated me when people interrupted my groove.

Now I'm just hungry, though.
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I am Melinda's questionable morals.

I always thought when Blink 182 got back together and I saw them, I'd turn my nose up at them if I thought they were only in it for the money. I'm not sure if it's good that I didn't.

Sometimes, when you want something so badly and you get it, you can't feel anything but gratitude. There's no anger, no hurt. I went to say goodbye, and I did. I just didn't expect the goodbye to be to my hurt. It's better this way.

Just remember, Blink, a puppy will always love a master that has hurt it but it will always flinch when the master raises their hand.
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T.Bark

Wow.
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Do you hear what I hear?

What's that? Could it be? Could it really, really be that today is the day? Is it really July 30, 2009? I remember months and months ago thinking "Pah, today will never come. I'll endlessly be stuck in a loop of July 29, 2009. It'll be Groundhog Day, but better because I'm not Bill Murray.

Why, you ask, was I looking forward to today with such enthusiasm? Why today is the day I see Blink 182. Fuck the teddy bears and their picnic. This is where I want to be. I have flasks a-plenty and an open mind.

I've listened to the new Panic! song and the only The Young Veins song. I have to say, I'm not overly wowed by either one of them. They're like drinking straight Triple Sec to get drunk. It's not awful and it's still booze.

Everyone should go to Emails from Crazy People for a good laugh about how far the human race has fallen. Yes, it is an issues.

I really miss Vancouver right about now. I'll make it back there, I swear.

The Ring!!!!

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Best week ever?

Probably not. I was pms-ing through most of it. Certain people were more cocksmack-ish than usual. I threw out a pair of shoes.

But really? I took care of all the shit I needed taken care of with regards to the fail of april 2008. I saw Harry Potter. I won an interim television. I had awesome hangs with the best friend last night. I had great nights with awesome conversations at work. I stopped having to work with Shelton.

I'm wearing heels at church and there are no words for how sore my feet are right now.

I bought my 2010 daytimer last night. I need to start putting birthdays in there, because it's something I want to be better with next year. I will wish people happy birthday and maybe even send cards.

Holy shit! Marni just came to see me and she's engaged!!!!!!!!!
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And now she has granddaughters...

Bring back the good times august 6th. The last year and a half is in the past, babycakes. Can you smell the change in the air? And to Tym? I did try to post the picture, the email just didn't go through. Whoops!
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Oh, just out with my brother.
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More misses than a novice shooter

LR. Hard. He's good people.
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I never gave a damn about the weather

As in, I don't care that it's raining today because I just picked up Warped tickets and Manchester Orchestra tickets. So, I now need to book days off. This should be fun.

Speaking of fun, I don't think I'm going to be able to go camping in two weeks because I didn't book the days off in time for them. Shit. Oh well. Camping isn't my idea of an awesome time, but I can think of worse things to do.

Wow. The day has gone fast. I'll see you on the flipside.

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About 30 seconds ago, someone just did this to my train window with a baseball bat. I'm still shaking.
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230 am

There's nothing like the conversations between two people who have deep love. I may never have someone, but I'll never be alone.

Are you sure you want a piece of me?
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Last night, she said...

Wow. Awkward discoveries and a few too many stress tears at the end. I think I must owe someone forty bucks. I still kicked ass at chugging and got many hugs and kisses.

Peace out and eff the stampede.
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Set phasers to bitter.

Nothing much to say today. I'm still not a fan of the Calgary Stampede and the trash it brings to the city. I'm also not a fan of people who yell at me because they can't find a book. I'm ESPECIALLY not a fan of people being passive agressive. I feel like it's time to leave the city, but I don't know where or when or why. Maybe I'll do what I keep wanting to do and go find a B&B somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and just rest with my thoughts. I've got a lot of them lately.

The DAR would like to say something...

No more little white gloves.

If you apologize and no one hears, is it like you never apologized at all? I really don't feel like I'm in the wrong this time, so fuck off my jock.

I think it's a little bit amusing I used the lyrics I did in my last post. It was half an hour before I found out the band broke in half. And nothing mini popped out of the middle.

I'm putting out the lantern, find your own way back home.

Mistakes are meant to be made and learned from. I'm learning, it's just slow going.

To take another cue from them?

I'll even have the courtesy of admitting I was wrong, as the final words before I'm dead and gone.

I've said it before but it bears repeating, I hate the Stampede.

Apologies all around, but especially to you.

Calgary Stampede

Let it be known, prior to twitters that might come later tonight, I am not a fan of cowboys. Faux or otherwise.
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My new sick obsession

I cannot stop reading graphic novels. I know at one point I liked books without pictures in them, but I can't remember why now. I'm sticking to a few authors, but still.

Sandman III is at Another Dimension Comics and I just remembered that you pay the US price + exchange there. Hmm. I think I'll have to go there to check it out when I have the chance.

The week is going a little less rapidly than I'd like, but I've come to terms with that happening. It's almost Canada Day, which means champagne and Wayne's World I&II, possibly South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. Wish you were here.

It is the dawn of a new week and so I prepare my mind by emptying it of the weekend.

I worked. I consumed caffeine. I watched True Blood. I enjoyed not nearly enough sleep. I bought books. Oh, the books I bought. There are a few that are trashy and insubstantial but really, according to a recent graduate, all books are insubstantial. Nothing written recently will be read in 100 years, with the exception of Saturday by Cormac McCarthy.

It led me to think about what books I own that were written more than 100 years ago. These answers will not shock you:

Jo's Boys
Little Men
Little Women
A Christmas Carol
Dante's Inferno

You could count The Preservationist, because it's really just the story of Noah's ark.

I'm sorry I don't like the old classics as much as I should?

Tomorrow morning, I embark on an adventure. Tomorrow, I'm switching shampoos. We'll see how that turns out...

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I woke up last halloween with these in my purse.
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Books books books

One thing I love above almost everything else is a good book. For me, finding that trade, original cover of a walk to remember made my day. I didn't seek it out, I just saw it one day. And one day I'll find the notebook, but that day is not today. Today, I'm going to pick up:

- This Book Is Broken
- Secrets of the Vinyl Cafe
- How To Say It
- Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips
- Downtown Owl
- The Gum Thief
- Spanish For Dummies
- Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America

Good mix, I think.

I also need to hit Shoppers on Wednesday for essentials. It's a secret 20x the points event. Whoops, spilled the beans. This morning, I bought a travel mug, finally. No longer will I waste 200L of water per coffee.
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I just found out the Manchester Orchestra is coming to Calgary in August. I just wish I knew who was opening for The Hold Steady in September. It's not that I dislike them, per se, it's just I'd be more inclined to go if I found out someone fabulous was opening for them.

I love watching pissing contests between two guys*. It's hilarious when they try to one-up each other on things.

One thing I also love? Movie monologues that make my chest clench up just a little bit.

*So we're clear, I'm not talking about actual urine. Gross. No thank you.

I listened to Blink all day today. It's been a long time since I was able to do that and I think I appreciate Dude Ranch now more than I ever did back then. Maybe because it's finally relevant to my age.

I'm so tired and sore right now. This takes me back to January where all I wanted was sweet, sweet death. All I want right now is antihistamine and decongestant. I think I'm going to be calling in sick to Chapters tonight, just based on the amount of death I feel like right now.

Wow. Thanks to Go Fug Yourself, I just learned that Mickey Rourke didn't always look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man after 9 rounds with Snap, Crackle, and Pop. He was kind of hot, in a sleazy, eighties, doing-coke-off-a-mirror-in-my-office-before-that-big-meeting-with-potential-investors kind of way. He should look like that now. Maybe then I wouldn't mind when people try to tell me to watch his movies.

Speaking of movies, I really want to see The Hangover now. Sean told me exactly how hilarious it is right now. I kind of respect his opinion sometimes. But he did cry over Marley and Me, so...

Sleep, please?

I almost forgot.

Things I'm Enjoying:

Go Fug Yourself

White Whine

I won't be seeing you for a long while. I hope it's not as long as this country mile.

This song is for the work force, drowning.

Here's to a whole new year.

Please don't confront me with my failures, I have not forgotten them

It's weird how nostalgia will blindside you at 2 a.m.

In no particular order, I miss: 

• Spending three hours at the library, just looking around and realizing I could read all of these books if I really wanted to.
  
• Smoking at the playground at three a.m. when I'm done writing a paper.
  
• Walking Bear to Shopper's Drugmart because I'm so homesick that I'm going to cry.
  
• The Summer of (Theatre) Love.
  
• Singles from my youth
  
• Bad-ass 3 a.m. talks on Kansas highways
  
• Wanting nothing more than to publish the definitive book on Slasher films.
  
• Writing all the time.
  
• Reading all the time.
  
• Tasting molasses for the first time.
  
• Rafting down a BC river.
  
• Closing my airplane window because I have the window seat and I can.
  
• Hiding out in a tent in my backyard for a week at a time. 
  
• Breaking hearts in June.
  

Summer is in the air and it's almost time for a great summer romance.

Friday is the new Monday, so have a song.

Nico – These Days

The moral of the story? I don't like the word "ooze"

Oh look! A present for me! I wasn't expecting anything at all from him. This is a huge shock. I can't really tell what it is because he's ace at wrapping presents. Our text exchange goes something like this:

Melinda: What did you send me?
Mitchell: Why don't you open it and find out?
Melinda: Tease. My birthday isn't until Monday!
Mitchell: Oh are you going to wait then??
Melinda: I should!
Mitchell: As you wish.

During this exchange, I have opened the card. It turns out to be a Christmas card.


AN INAPPROPRIATE CHRISTMAS CARD. Like there are any other kind.


Awwwwwww.

Melinda: You really are a horrible tease. Love the card.
Mitchell: Oh you should just open it.

So. I do.


It's a book! I wonder what it could be. It's a mass-market, I can tell by the size. Was he unable to find "How To Win Friends And Influence People" in Trade? I know that's a favourite of his to bestow on his friends.


It's very telling this was all I needed to identify which book this was.


Oh. Look. A mass-market movie tie-in edition. My favourite thing in the whole wide world. That Mitchell.


My reaction.

Melinda: You are the worst kind of person. I love your sass.
Mitchell: I ooze sass. I was proud of that one.
Melinda: I'm so blogging the photo journey of that one.
Mitchell: Yes!! Dream come true!

Observations

1. I got my last ever AP in the mail yesterday. Even though I compared seeing Blink to getting closure with that ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, I somehow think it's fitting that they were on the first cover I bought of AP and now they're on the last cover of my subscription. Pop Disaster to Comeback Kings.

2. Last night, I had someone completely understand my distaste for deluxe edition hardcover comics. Soon, I'll be reading The Killing Joke in style. Out of print trade paperback, please.

3. I finally saw a picture of Alan Moore. Dude needs to get over himself. He's ugly and he writes comics.

4. Too tired for real life, but I've cut so much caffeine out of my life. I know, I'm not that bright.
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Ships passing in the night...

I can't believe how late to the party I am on some things. I'm going to blame it all on Mitchell. That seems to be a good idea.

I feel like all I do is work, work, work. Which is a pretty fair description of my time this month. Hopefully next month will calm down a bit and I can have some Melinda time.

I'm also thinking of moving my blog to Tumblr because I like their update format a little more than I like Blogger. I'm torn because I like that Blogger is run by Google. Google makes awesome products. But Tumblr. I'll keep you posted. Maybe.

I dislike that no matter how often I dust my desk, it never stays dust free. This is due to the AC vent over my head. Oh well.

Next Monday is Womb Bastille day. Whatever shall I do with myself? I'll work, of course.

Coffee number one consumed and giving me the strength I need to carry on. Sometimes I look at my friends' blogs and realize I really am friends with such talented, creative people. If I ever wonder what I bring to the table, I try to remember that I keep them grounded.

You know you guys are always on my mind and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Meghan's birthday yesterday. Guys, she's OLD. She's 21 finally and what she should realize this means is that when we hit Chicago harder than a storm, we're going to be legal at any pub we go to.

My latest score on Brickbreaker is 227480 and I have 63 lives. The game has lost the challenge for me. Also, I got Blink tickets for July and it makes me sad to think I'm saying goodbye to them. But sometimes you have to cut out the things that hurt you.

WTAF calgary?

Hailstorms that last 30 seconds aren't funny. Except when they are.

Radio silence ended. Communication from mothership continues.
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Mother ship, mother ship, do you read me?

Radio silence.

In two weeks it will be the anniversary of my escape from the womb. I should celebrate but I'll instead be at work, slaving away and offering books to other people. Worst of all is the fact that I'll be working with Sean, who is approximately three feet tall.

I'm going to see Blink in July, even thought they're assholes who broke my heart and continue to do so. But come on, AAR is opening up for them! And while that's not as great as CCR, it's a start. AAR, FOB, B182. I can just make up a shot to go with each of those names and it'll be easy to get through the concert.

I need a new bookshelf. I must remind myself of that. New bookshelf takes precedence over a new TV. Especially since I so very rarely watch TV on my TV. So. This time, I want to get the Ikea Expedit, because I like the squares. Maybe I'll even use it to divide my books into categories. While I like what Mitchell did with his, I do not have the discipline to not have all of my books displayed. I could go through and weed some out, though.

One thing I would like to do is standardize editions. I dislike that certain trade paperbacks are bigger than other trades and I ABSOLUTELY HATE mass markets. If you want to incur my wrath, you present me with a mass-market movie tie-in edition. Sorry, I'm a little under/over-caffeinated right now.

The bus

I do not miss the 301. I will not miss what it meant to me. I will not miss 2008.
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Back from New York on Sunday night. There was much merriment and getting to listen to Rahm Emanuel speak. I'm not on a first name basis with him like other people.

In order-ish.

• Air Canada always pulling through in the end
• Early morning coffee hangs with Kathy
• Missing bags
• The Metro-North
• Booze and Chinese food
• Coraline - 'Cat claws. In my face. Bleed black tar!'
• 30 Rock
• American Apparel with 5 rooms
• Little Ashes
• Statue of Liberty
• Wandering
• Sleeping on air mattresses
• Humidity
• Angels and Demons
• Angels and Kings
• Tavern On The Green
• The W
• Rahm Emanuel
• No rest for the wicked
• F.A.O. Schwarz
• Virgin Megastore Closeout Sales
• Magnolia Bakery
• 8 Floor Macy's with their confusing Sbux locations
• $1 flip-flops being sold out
• Two Boots Pizza
• The Private Lives of Pippa Lee

And definitely killing eight million bottles of booze. Here's to two-fisting vodka!

I am, you are, he/she/it is, we are, they are

Hometimes soon? Bathroomtimes now.
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Wow. Tym did indeed start reading the blog. I'm sure he'll be enthralled. The office and it's employees are haggard this morning, with the exception of a few. That's what happens when you work with engineers.

Okay. I can get through the day. Maybe. Probably not. I don't even want to be here right now. I want to be on a plane. I'm going to bring my blanket again so I can sleep on the plane. There's a Blink 182 reference to be made, but I've not had enough caffeine to make it.

To Do Before Leaving:

1. Pack
2. Stop laughing at my co-workers
3. Re-set office.

Oh man, guys. Oh man. There's so much blackmail after last night.

The Walrus and The Carpenter

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things.

Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax.
Of cabbages and kings.

And why the sea is boiling hot.
And whether pigs have wings.

Kaloo, kalay, no work today.
We're cabbages and kings.
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New York tomorrow. If I can manage to be alive. I have my doubts as to whether that can happen or not.

I gave Brad and Tym my blog address tonight, so here's seeing if they start reading. I'm guessing they'll be very bored, BUT! Both Brad and I and Tym and I had high-fives that silenced the bar tonight. Take that.

Remember that scene in 'Can't Hardly Wait' where William Lichter is hammered and says "I can't feel my legs. I HAVE NO LEGS!" It's kind of like that right now.

It's a mixture of allergies and the common cold but it has me shivering and shaking. Multi-vitamins are so the way to go.

Is it really only Monday? Apparently so. Last week kind of flew by, I still don't know where all the time went. I'm sick and tired from being sick and tired this weekend. I didn't stand a chance. I got home from the airport and my Dad sounded like Kermit the Frog.

Health, health, health.

The big apple on Friday for Elle's grad. I just have to remember to pack everything and I should be good to go.

No time for talking, only living. JKL, guys.

Time for the heater to go back on.

Drive by post...

Back from New York. Best 96 hours of my life. I've fallen in and out of love. Don't worry, I'm still young enough that it's going to happen a few more times for me. It sounds like it isn't fun, but it is... and it isn't... and it is.

I finished Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? and it was legendary. It was really, really fitting. Like I said last month, it never started and it won't ever stop.

Highlights? Calling out douchey internet fucks. Calling out douchey bathroom fucks. Falling in love with Southern charm. Realizing Deep Vs are not for those of the hairy variety. Double flasking everywhere. Last Night on the Mass Pike. Twittering. Chicago following me no matter where I go. The creeper in Chelsea who obviously wanted into our room. Drunken Family Channel. Flinching from hugs. Books on BTK. Chest dents everywhere.

It's weird feeling because I'm so happy to be back and so happy to be leaving again. I love my life and the way one time-zone can't hold me down. 

Oh man. I always get so antsy when it comes time to leave the city. I wish I could just go right now. At least I didn't have any trouble getting to sleep last night. I won't have my blackberry and that'll be hella weird, but I'll be available via AIM. If you want to text or anything, you already have the number. Or you should. I'm looking at you on this one, Mitchell.

I'm actually pretty stoked on this trip, not gonna lie. But I also know Meghan and I are really just going to spend most of the plane ride planning out our next trip, logistics wise. Chicago in August, what of it? Probably not for Lollapolooza, unless we can maybe roll into town right around the time Manchester Orchestra is playing. I'd pretty much give both testicles [if I had them] to see those guys again.

So much to do tonight.

1. Get cigarettes
2. Finish laundry
3. Pack
4. Get more Failbucks with Meghan
5. Lift-Off!

I don't get political or up on my high horse very often, but fuck the cops. I'd already lost my respect for them before this, but this makes me flat-out despise them.

Last night, safe and warm in my bed, I was reading twitter updates from various people about Philly cops and what they were doing to the members of the Bamboozle Road Show. Like the bands or hate the bands, if what they're saying is even 10% true, those cops deserve to have their badges taken away.

The worst part to me is the lack of recourse these bands have. They're in a different city every night. I bet ticketing them is a cop's wet dream, because they figure the band isn't going to bother fighting a parking ticket. Not only that, if they're attacked by the police, who do they call? What are they supposed to do? Fuck this shit, man.

My name is melinda

This is my life and it's ending one day at a time.
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Who wants to divorce me?

I haven't updated since Thursday. WEIRD. Also, for the record, Mitchell is my favourite person ever right now. From a crack den to the W? Yes, you're my favourite for reasons that aren't just your connections. There's also the fact that sometimes when I think about you, it's hard to breathe because I miss you that much.

I've started actually using my twitter. So. Give 'er. twitter.com/melindahinman

I might change the name back to recordskip, just to go along with the blog title.

Not much has happened this weekend. I went out and got drunk with the boys on Friday. I went to a barbecue on Saturday. I went to church on Sunday.

Speaking of church. Can anyone explain the logic of getting married at 18? If anyone knows this, I'd love to find out. That to me makes ZERO sense. Marriage before you can legally drink in the USA? What if you want to honeymoon in Vegas? You can't gamble! You can't do anything fun! What if you decide at nineteen that you want to go backpacking through Europe and really find yourself. OH WAIT, you have a spouse you need to clear that with. I've said it before and I'll say it again, some day I'll make someone a terrific ex-wife. Just so we're clear, I don't mean that bitterly. I think I'd make an awesome divorce partner.

Trashy Tuesday Fun Fact: I hide my flask in my pants when I go to bars. My flask says "Douchebag."

Tonight I did a stream-of-consciousness about things that make me happy. I was kind of surprised at some of them. For example, I like being 23 and still printing. If I were to handwrite, it would look horrendous, I promise.

The big news of the day is my new diet plan. Coffee [black], cigarettes, and Diet Coke. When I'm all emaciated and look like a heroin addict, that'll be why.

Lelaina: I was really gonna be something by the age of 23.
Troy: Honey, the only thing you have to be by the age of 23 is yourself.
Lelaina: I don’t know who that is anymore.
Troy: I do. And we all love her. I love her. She breaks my heart again and again but I love her.

Genius needs to burn a little while longer, guys.

A dead Lois?

Maybe you're a classy girl, but tonight I plan on drinking crotch vodka.

Sometimes I say things for no reason other than the desire to say things that are completely inappropriate. I also feel it necessary to expend all negative energy I'm feeling on one person. God help you if you're the only one in the room.

Meghan has good news for me tonight and I'm hoping it's something ridiculous, like she won the lottery and is taking me as a trophy bride. Also, I got the cutest, oddest compliment today. I have a Bibo calendar and a Toucan Sam laptop case, the laptop case being the same one as in a previous post on here. Either way, it's freakin' presh. So, I guess Trevor told his wife about both of these things because he sent me an email that said his wife thinks she and I might have similar tastes and could I give any reccomendations for a laptop.

Naturally, I pimped the last generation MacBooks, because those babies are sleek. Anyway. I explained all my reasons for liking it and he forwarded the email to his wife. Her response was:

Oh, I just knew she'd have a Mac! :)

They were in the top three of every review I read! Tell her thank you for all her help.

I don't remember what the rest of the email said, there was more that was complimentary to me. She's so precious. Honestly, though? I pimp Macs. I'll be in Future Shop, just looking and help someone make the decision to buy a Mac. It's pretty awesome.

Anyway, time to find out the good news! I hope it's a pony!

It's funny how quickly seeing someone can disillusion you. Sorry, Josh Clark, your nerdy voice is much hotter than your face because your face reminds me of my grade eight math teacher.

Also, Magnum PI? Really? Tom Selleck is so gross.

She doesn't own a dress, her hair is always a mess...

Trashy Tuesday fun fact: I'm trying to go without shampooing every day. I know that's not particularly trashy, but it makes me feel trashy.

I have my Starbucks, and that's always a good time. Say what you want, but coffee makes it go faster.

I worked last night and I work again tonight. My feet are sore, but I still love Chapters. Suzanne pulled me in last night and told me because minimum wage went up in Alberta, my wage was adjusted. Weird. Definitely didn't know minimum wage went up. Oh well. I'll have an extra whatever amount on my cheque on Friday. That reminds me, I need to bring them a void cheque.

I'm reading a book called Clutter Busting:



It's all about the emotional weight we attach to stuff and how that's not really a good thing. For example, there was a man who avoided unpacking boxes for years and years, not really sure why he didn't, but he ended up opening one of the boxes and there was his marriage certificate. He had been divorced for three years. Once he was able to throw that out, he found it was easier to unpack the rest of the boxes and get rid of it.

I would like to find what that is for me, those objects that make me say "I can't move on." Maybe that's what I'll do on Friday.

It's two scant weeks until New York, which is going to be legen- wait for it- DARY! Oh, does it show that I've been watching more HIMYM? I have been. I've also decided this is the year I do all the touristy things I've wanted to do but put off because I knew they'd be ridiculously busy. So, Melinda sees the Statue of Liberty!

Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

And to have a working blackberry. Lame american phones don't win.
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Chest Dent

Please keep the tape rollin', boys keep strumming those guitars.
We need a record of our failures, we must document our loves.

[Psst. And so it never started and it will never stop just like I am and you are.]

Travel and discontent go hand in hand. I dislike my city. I rescind some comments about Chicago being failcago. It's still got its weak points: Shitty drivers, wind, Ryan Luciani. But it's also got some strong points: History, CTA, nice bars.

I didn't care for the venue's neighborhood, or the venue all that much but it was the secondary concern, really. The weekend was full of TWSS and high-fives for our awesomeness. I solemnly swear I am never doing a non-red-eye to Toronto again. That flight drags.

Writing up the concert and whatnot later. It's time to mainline coffee right now.

Chest dent.

Friday fires at four

I left the party for an hour to get my haircut, when I came back, you were liquored and loose.

I love how I won't listen to stuff for four months, even though I've been listening to this band for years.

Detox just to retox.
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You should see my decoupage...

Today I saw an unusually large bucket of cottage cheese while I was walking through the basement. I don't want to to know why it was there, who bought it, or what might have actually been in it. I just know that I hate these engineers.

Yesterday, I had to play movie quote dictionary for two of them. They kept coming up with stuff I hadn't seen. Like Team America. Look, I like puppet sex as much as the next person [which is to say "Not at all!"] but the part where the puppet kept puking? Gross, no thank you.

More How I Met Your Mother last night after picking up toothpaste and Starbucks. I really can't get enough of Barney's depravity. Honestly though? If I lived in New York City? I'd probably be just as creative as him in getting people into bed. Fortunately I'm a girl. And girls don't have to work for it.

I'm seeing Empires for the first time this weekend. If the world continues spinning like I think it will, it'll be one of my last chances to see them in a tiny-ass club. Also, I can't take anybody seriously today.

Family Guy Quote of the Day: Sorry, Kids. Daddy loves you, but Daddy also loves TV, and TV was here first.

Melinda, I've been hearing chatter all over town that Hannah was fired. Is this true? Please confirm!!!

Quite possibly the best wall post I've ever had on Facebook. Team Hannah wins again. I'm debating flying in my Team Hannah shirt, just to keep the pride alive. Jack is going to make us shirts with the Pandadragon. I tried explaining Hannah to my parents, they think I'm making fun of her, but I think I lost them after "and whenever she gets distressed, which is a lot, she poops fire."

Oh no, did I lose you too?

Once again, I'm more on the up and up than you guys. Someone is going down the tubes today because it's just not working out. We think he's a great guy, but we really need to focus on our careers. Oh, wait, he's getting fired, not broken up with. Point is, he's a busted leg on the centipede that is my company. In the almost year I've worked with him, I think I've said about three words to him. It's just weird, is all.

I'm so bored at work today. So, I'm going to do work that doesn't require my attention.

1. I hate hold music, I don't care how awesome they try to make it. They could play Paper Planes over and over and over again and all that would happen is I would want to Pow Pow Pow. Actually, I think if all hold music was Paper Planes, I'd be much happier.

2. I love espresso.

3. I Am America (And So Can You) is so ridiculously offensive and awesome. I wholeheartedly endore Stephen Colbert's use of satire.

4. Hannah got fired! Team Hannah has been buzzing with text messages this morning. Information is sketchy right now, but it seems to have happened last night, which means were I still an employee of the theatre, I would've been one of the people responsible for Team Hannah's great sadness.

5. As a remnant of my youth, I still enjoy sitting cross-legged in chairs. I'm doing so at my desk right now as I drink coffee and blog about mundane things from my mundane life.

6. In the vein of The Muppet Christmas Carol, which I love and if anyone loves me back they will find it for me by next Christmas, I shall leave you with a modified version of one song: After all there's only three more sleeps 'til Chicaaaago.

Love me, hate me, say what you want about me...

I'm so happy you're so happy
Otherwise, life would be crappy.

A nice little couplet to start my day off. I had a good weekend this weekend. On Friday, I started and finished The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck. It's totally a religious book and I'm almost positive the writer is Mormon. Either way, my upbringing really lets me appreciate books in that vein. I think it's why I like Mitch Albom so much. That being said, still no interest in Tuesdays With Morrie.

I have my candle going again today. It's pretty hot. My desk is a what's what of awesome. That's because where my shame gland should be, there's just a second awesome gland. True story.

I can't get If You Seek Amy out of my head. It's not good. What is good is the new Manchester Orchestra album. I know I pimp them like nobody's business, but it's only because they're so, so, so, so good.

I leave for Failcago on Friday morning. I have plans for when I'm down there that include going to a grilled cheese restaurant. Actually. The weekend will go something like this:

Friday: 6 a.m. leave, noon arrive, 7 p.m. leave, 8 p.m. arrive, 1 a.m. sleep.

Saturday: 8 a.m. rise, 9 a.m. leave, 44th Ward, T-Shirt Deli, AA, UO, Museum?, Concert, Sleep

Sunday: 6 a.m. depart, 10 a.m. arrive, 3 p.m. depart, 5 p.m. arrive. 5:01 p.m. sleep.

There is no time or tolerance for going green. No time for talking, only drinking. I still have so much shit to get done before I can leave the city. Ugh. Oh well, that's what Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights are for.

Also, Elle's grad present just came in. Yay me!

When you see my face, hope it gives you hell...

Okay. First things first. Thursday is never not good. I don't care what anyone has to say about them, my seventeen year-old self loved them and my twenty-three year-old self loves them. There aren't a lot of bands with that claim to fame, I could probably name them without breaking a sweat. Also, there was a native midget there. A native little person, rather. It made my life.

The new Manchester Orchestra leaked, so I'm currently listening to that while looking at audiobooks to steal. It's kind of crazy what exists out there. I'm digging the new album almost enough to do a Music Monday on a Friday, weird, right?

I have a candle burning at my desk and Daniela just walked by and said "Oh, you always have the prettiest things. You have your beautiful plant and now you have this delicious candle." It's mulled wine.

I leave on Friday. Good riddance to bad rubbish. This weekend is all about relaxing and finishing yet another book [2nd this month so far]. Is/Was turned out to be only meh, so I'm glad it's done and done. I'm going to finish The Christmas Sweater on the train today, as long as it doesn't make me start tearing up again. After that, I'm going to put my efforts toward finishing another book I've been trying to finish for as long as I can remember. It will be done. Oh yes, it will be done.

I was just Rick Rolled for the first time ever. FML.

Close enough to a puppy...

Welcome Klosterman the plant into the the blog.
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My new deskmate

I just bought a plant for my desk. I'm attempting to see if my mother's black thumb extends to me. I'm hoping it doesn't. I want my new friend, who I haven't named yet, to live to see spring.
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I think one of my bosses has just figured out the exclamation mark. He's using it at the most inappropriate times in his emails. Either that or he really wanted me to know he never had a Canadian passport.

Also. Oh, God. Oliver just asked me if I did any groupie things this weekend. I just about choked on my water. Then he claimed he didn't know what a groupie was. FML.

I've finished all the last minute prep for my trip to Chicago. I did up the emergency contact numbers list, the packing list, the itinerary, and my To Do list before then. I would make a mean travel agent.

In less awkward news, I picked out Elle's grad gift today. I hope she likes it, even though I'm sure she will. I never know what to get people as gifts. And now, I Chapters.

Greg Bonard (sp)

So. Wow. There was an american who made some comments about canada. And greg said we shouldn't care because this guy was a zero of society. Burn.
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So what say you and all your friends step up to my friends in the alley tonight?

Sometimes I listen to old albums and I get shivers with how much they make me want to stand up and fight. Remember the Alamo is more than just a battle cry for the States. 

Sometimes I'm horribly offensive without meaning to be, whoops.

There's this guy, we'll call him Barney, that I work with. Anyway, last night we were both out at a work function and he asked me about D&D books.

D. And. D. Books. What am I supposed to say to that? I finally managed to say that the only geeks I have a real problem with are the ones who don't shower and who crawl out of their basements once a year for the big movie openings. He seemed to accept this. I don't know, it turns out our geekery is somewhat similar. He read Forgotten Realms once upon a time, I played King's Quest VI.

Ugh. I just want to go home now. Or rather, to the mall to buy pajamas, deal with Telus, and then to Chapters, where we're doing the Twilight release party.

So sleepy. I'm not doing a Music Monday, because it's way too early for me to be into actually posting. I'm just musing on the fact that I need a new pair of utilitarian black shoes.

Spent a good part of the weekend out and about. Friday was drinks with the engineers, never a good idea. Saturday was early morning work, a museum, and chilling in pajamas toward the end of the evening. Last night, I cleaned up a whole bunch of paperwork. So much to shred.

OH! I finished Rant. Not his best work, but not horrible. It was Triple Sec. I'm about to start M for Magic by Neil Gaiman. It's one of his 9-12 Readers' books. I'm doing well on my goal for reading more this year.

I also spent about twenty minutes in bed this morning transferring music to my iPod from my computer. I don't normally do that, but I woke up a bit earlier than usual today.

Pet peeve

There's one thing I can't stand on the train and normally I don't mind it because I have headphones on, but I hate people who discuss their personal shit on their cell phones.

The woman next to me has a rebellious teen (who she is handling completely wrong), a moron sister (who she isn't patient with), a mother who is possibly a horse abuser (who she's completely judgemental of).

Don't air your personal shit on the train. If I have to be on the phone and on the train at the same time, I try to keep my conversation direct and to the point. I know it makes me sound like a jackass.

Hey, lady, if it's not your business, why are you shooting the shit about it on the train and talking about judging them? Also, her sister's divorce is shitty, big surprise. Wow, she's the only responsible one in the family. I'm sure.

Ugh. Trashy trashy trashy.
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The drunk kids, the Catholics, they're both about the same...

Trashy Tuesday Confession: I've smoked the wrong end of a cigarette sober. It was always around this one boy who made me super nervous, which was funny because I didn't like him all that much. When I smoke around boys I do like a lot, nothing. 

I've been using the Frilly Lilly Products I won and my skin feels incredible. I've also worked out for the last three nights and that feels good, too. I'm just doing some basic resistance for toning, but taking care of myself feels good. 

I think I'm going to try Aveda's skincare line, because I really like what it's done for a friend of mine. I just got distracted because I remembered he has a blog. So, I checked it out.

Music Monday next week. I had one picked for this week, but I already rep that shit hard. 

I've been reading:

Rant - Chuck Palahniuk

I've been watching:

An American Crime

[Also: Pushing Daisies, Family Guy, and Supernatural]

I've been listening to:

New Found Glory - Sticks and Stones

[Also: The Aldrich Family, podcasts, Motion City Soundtrack, and Bright Eyes]

Blogging from Chapters

I love still being new at a place of employment, I'm not embittered the way 5+ year people are. The only thing I wish I could do is talk to people at cash the way Shelton does. He has something to say no matter what topic he's talking about. He doesn't know I admire that skill, I'm keeping that a secret. Shhhhhhhh......
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I can't shake the feeling that I'm living in a dream. Not in the good way and not in the bad way, just in the way that I'm tired all the time and can't seem to get rid of the feeling.

"She has to be stopped."

Sorry, Dakota Fanning, straight from the mouths of one of my homo-lifemates.

I think next week I won't leave my house in the evenings, I'll just relax at home and do things I've been meaning to do, like clean my room.

New Cursive album is out on Tuesday. I love that Tim still writes about his mother when he's in his thirties. He makes me feel like less of a failbot. Also making me feel like less of a failbot is Joe walking in wearing a white and green argyle golf shirt.

Tozser, Chandrasekaran, Vihristencu. I can pronounce those words and you can't!

If The World's At Large, Why Should I Remain?

I spent the weekend with one of the people I love the most in the entire world. I always hope he knows that I deeply and desperately love him. Not in the deep and desperate way that would make it awkward, just in the way that he's seen me at my worst and loves me regardless. 

Tonight, one of my friends is falling apart. She's one of a very few I can count on in the pinchiest of pinches. My dear friend, I don't want you to worry. Like I said, don't let the man [or the hand you hold] hold you down. 

For a reason that eludes me, I'm deeply and desperately in love with the world at large. It's strange because everyone who lives will some day die, and die alone. We will all float on okay, though. I promise. 

Oh God. This weekend.

Late planes, late nights.

Never has this phrase been more applicable:

"Those nights that turned into mornings, with those friends that turned into family."

♥

Thursday: Arrived late, had sushi with Mitchell and Lydia. Watched High Fidelity.

Friday: Bought a silo worth of alcohol, had coffee and cigarettes with Landon, bought shoes, looked at comics, had dinner, consumed silo of alcohol, jump-attacked Lydia and Tristan in bed, bought more alcohol, got drunker, watched Landon headsmash, wrangled Landon home, discussed many deep things, went to the water, went on Tangents [capitalized for emphasis, frequency, and our ability to come back to the point], went to the waterfront, went to the sauna, got locked out of the sauna, tried every wacky scheme we could to get in, sat in the elevator and pretended we were trapped, finally got let in by a woman coming home from the bar, went upstairs, smoked a last cigarette, went to bed watching Family Guy.

Saturday: Woke up and watched more Family Guy, visited Landon at work, bought books, got dinner, watched Ghost Town, began drinking second silo of alcohol, got fancied up, drew on glass walls, attended gala, won a Frilly Lily gift basket from a silent auction, Mitchell won 20 lbs of fudge [don't bother making jokes, we already made every single one of them], went to the gay bar, went to another gay bar, got super salty, came home, made a video about our saltiness, watched racially insensitive material, took more pictures, went to bed.

Sunday: [Original day of departure] Woke up at 9 a.m., went to Elbow Room, got sexually harassed and extremely drunk at breakfast, went back to the apartment, lounged, packed, went shopping, bought comics, watched Almost Famous, had sushi, missed flight, went to hotel, was salty, watched Family Channel, slept.

Monday: Hotel failed in waking me up, almost missed flight again, made flight, went home, showered, went to work.

Yes, I do always rule this much. Sexless marriages, polygamy, and photos to follow when I don't fail as much.

The gay bar

Omg. The bathrooms at Celebrities make me the happiest. Again, fuck los angeles, vancouver, I'm yours.

Ho No, bitches.
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Mitchell says I don't blog enough, and since last night proved that I do whatever he tells me, here's a blog.

All my bags are packed; I'm ready to go.

Sarah is covering me, sort of, while I'm gone. This means I will no longer have to listen to my boss mumble under her breath. She does this all the time, talk to herself. I have an inner monologue, but it's inner. As in "No one else hears what I am saying to myself in my head."

She doesn't seem to get this concept.

I'm in Vancouver this weekend, where I shall remain whisk-less but protected by the fact that I'll be in a high-rise. If I were to be in a horror movie, though, it would be on Saturday Night when I'm at a gala in high heels that look wildly inappropriate for day to day life. Picture this:

I hold a glass of wine in my hand, laughing softly at some joke one of my companions has just made and I'm ready to engage in our patented witty repartee when all of a sudden, the lights go out. "It's just a breaker," someone calls out. "They'll have it fixed in a moment."

It'll rain, because it always rains. There might be thunder and lightning but probably not. Eventually, someone will try to leave because the dark makes people of all ages uncomfortable, whether they admit it or not. That's when they'll find the doors locked.

Me? I'm still frozen with my wine glass halfway to my lips. That's when the first scream erupts from somewhere on the outskirts of the crowd.

See? Horror movie waiting to happen. I'll ditch the heels and run like hell to the nearest window. I don't want to have to be in a sequel.

I can't remember the last time a serial killer stalked a gala, though. Maybe I'll be okay.

To Do To Day:

1. Stop at the bank
2. Stop at Shoe Store
3. Pack last-minute articles
4. Give you hell?

Post after this detailing exactly what I've been watching/listing to lately.

For Music Monday!

I'm choosing a song I love for the first download. If you don't have it, you've been living under a rock. I don't like things that live under rocks.

Manchester Orchestra - Golden Ticket

This song is probably the second song I heard by Manchester Orchestra that stuck with me. It's gorgeous and lonely and haunting and it makes my heart ache in a way I didn't know my heart could ache anymore. 

Theme days

I think I'm going to start theme days in this blog. Maybe it's time for Trashy Tuesdays.

Salty Sundays
Music Mondays
Trashy Tuesdays
Weird Wednesdays

If I can think of more adjectives for the rest of the days of the week, I'll let you know.

For the first Trashy Tuesday, I'm going to go on record as saying that I love cheap booze. The cheaper and sweeter it is, the happier I am. My absolut (see what I did there?) is Martini & Rossi champagne. Mix that with some gatorade and vodka? You're fucked. Boone's Chilled Wine. It's about $4 a bottle, and it's great for playing drinking games. (Or really awful, depending on what movie you're watching.)
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Salty

Cheating is really low, d-bag. I hope you get crotch-rot and your crotch, get this, ROTS OFF. People like you make me want to live on an island.
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I kind of can't believe the last few weeks of my life. I managed to book flights to New York for about the same price it has cost me to go to Vancouver. I'm going to love being there twice in May. 

My Vancouver trip is coming up very shortly. It's a busy schedule, it always is. Friday is an event at an art gallery and Saturday is a fundraising gala somewhere else. I have my first LBD. Tomorrow is the search for shoes and a clutch. Maybe a wrap. Probably a wrap. I don't think it'll be that warm in Vancouver. 

And now, I sleep.

We're only here for one more night

My boss is so precious, guys. He's applying for Canadian citizenship because he's Irish and he was like "I think it's about time, don't you?" He said he's been here since 1982 and that makes him more Canadian than me. It does, man.

I'm very, very in love with How I Met Your Mother. How have I waited until now to discover this show? It's legen- Wait for it -dary.

I got invited to go to yet another boozelympics this weekend. Also:

YYC -> YYZ -> LGA
EWR -> ORD -> YYC
YYC -> YYZ -> LGA
LGA -> YYZ -> YYC

Check it, bitches. That's in May.

Next month is YYC -> YVR -> YYC

I used to think it was sad that I knew airport codes, but then I realized that other people are lame for not knowing them. In summary? I rock, you suck.

I finished my first book of January. I don't want to tell you what it was, but it was Sweet Valley High. I don't even care how badly these were written, it was good to read the flipside of the Sweet Valley Saga. I truly did want to know all about the magnificent Theo W. I've had this open all morning, I'm so lame.

Anyway. Everyone, watch How I Met Your Mother and we can all still be friends.

If you know something...

Stop lying to yourself about knowing it. I know something. And I try again and again to let myself believe otherwise. Again and again, I end up feeling hurt. Should I blame others? Maybe. Maybe not.

And so, Melinda, your true task of the new year is not to blame others, but to accept them as what they. You know who you can count on and who you can't.

This is not directed at you or you. I promise. I just didn't want to post this elsewhere.
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The end has no end...

I'm finally feeling healthy, though displeased with the bottle of water I'm drinking. Evian, you have nothing on Fiji and you never will.

Yeah, I'm one of those assholes who swears by a certain brand of bottled water. I've convinced other people of my views, so I know I'm not alone.

I'm outside, soaking up some vitamin D because this is kind of my only chance.

It's also good to step out of my office at noon so I don't get the same crazies I got last year at this time.

I'm digging the solid shampoo and conditioner, even if it does take a bit of getting used to. They'll be easier to travel with, for sure. It's just weird running a bar through my hair.

Mmm, Starbucks.
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This is me and the new shampoo and conditioner I'm trying. Solid shampoo and conditioner from Lush. 

My aunt was here for the weekend and it was awesome. Also, I'm happy that my room is feeling clean. I have the space heater. I have antibiotics and I have awesome friends. So. I'm off to do more cleaning before it's time for Meghan to be off work and us to be awesome. 

Time to go green, yo.

A long, pointless update

Twice in one day is a lot for me. I do not like feeling sick, though. If you were me, you'd hate it as much as I do. DNW tonsils being enlarged with puss. Although it does bring to mind when Mandy had tonsillitis and she had [as she put it] "swollen pussy glands."

... Yeah, you read it right. Things like that should not be sent via text message.

Things that fail:

Hunter

Me

Things that win:

Not Hunter

Not me.

I am making a frowny face in my bed. Fortunately, I have a space heater. That makes me pretty happy. I got it today because my room is kind of frosty when I get in at night. I bought it from Staples and had it sent to work and then had to carry it home from the train today. This story is not interesting to anyone but me. I think that's what a good blog is. Things that are only interesting to me. 

Things that are interesting to me:

Perez

Apartmenttherapy

Chapters

American Apparel

Technology failing me

Finding the best hairspray

Being approximately as shallow as a kiddie pool

I want to buy a camera, but not right now. Right now, I would like to take penicillin and sleep for the next 3 years. 

My word! It's been forever since I blogged, eight whole days. I've been keeping myself very busy between ________ Night Girl's Club, Chapters, and work. In there, I've found time to book myself a flight to Vancouver, be awesome, and drink about 6 more shots of espresso a day than any person should consume.

C'est la vie. Tout va bien.

That was a few hours ago. I take it back. Tout ne va pas bien. I just got back from seeing the doctor and I'm getting tested for Strep and Mono. Je n'aime pas.

Anyway, now that I've wasted 3 hours at the doctor's office, I've got to catch up at work.

Mitchell, I'm sorry, I know I said I'd post my goals in here for 2009 and I haven't yet. I fail, I only just got them down onto paper and into my other blog. Some of them are really, really personal though and I don't really feel like having them everywhere, so I'll just fill you in on them. Here are some things that aren't goals, per se, but things I'd like to accomplish this year:

1. Buy a canvas and either silkscreen it or paint it to match the words I live and die by.

2. Visit Mitchell at least twice.

3. Stop self-medicating to treat my extreme social anxiety. 

4. Be more organized with my personal paperwork. File all papers by third day of following month. Where I can, go paperless.

5. In going along with number 3, find a shrink by June 30. 

6. Clean out my closet and either consign or donate the clothes I don't wear. "I might wear it" will no longer be accepted as an excuse.

7. Make my bed every day. 

8. Take more time to read. 

9. Get more sleep. The fact that I'm posting this after 11:30 on a week night says that I'm not doing so well on that. 

I had a bitchin' Christmas and New Year. New Year's Eve was all kinds of ridic that I won't even mention. I got a lot and gave a lot for Christmas. I'm very lucky to have my friends and family. I love my friends and family. I try to tell them that more. I had the flu for Christmas and woke up Saturday with what I found out on Monday was tonsillitis. Yeah. Awful lotta awesome in my body this holiday season. [That's what SHE said.]

Chapters is still awesome, I'm still awesome, and most importantly, you're still awesome. Because I'm still awesome, have some pictures of me looking awesome with my Femmebot hair. [It's Mitchell's personal brand of heroin. We're lame, we know.]

My new coat. Note how unimpressed I look. That's not for any particular reason.

One of my Christmas presents. Also, I like my boobs in that picture. 

Melinda is tired after Boxing Day. She is tired but her hair could go for days. The winning hairspray appears to be the red bottle from Samy.